Friday, May 27, 2011

Oy, How did that Happen?

My day was planned out perfectly: bring Isabella to school, stop at the library, weight watchers meeting, trip to an outlet area for new "unmentionables" and maybe a new dress for our niece's wedding, maybe a trip to Trader Joe's and then, blessedly, a nap!

But nooooooo! As I pulled into the drop off area at school, I noticed I was the only one there. The district didn't use all its snow days so we have a four day Memorial Day weekend. No one told me! Isabella was confused but dealt with it. "Is school finished?" "For this week it is, honey."

After a week of congestion and coughing (allergies?), Bells could have slept in this morning and this upset me. I hate to wake her up when she is in a deep sleep. That might have bothered me more than having my plans upset.

We went to the library, one of Bells favorite places, and then to weigh in but not stay for the meeting (another pound and a bit - just over 21 pounds!) and then we went to see great grandma. This was a good thing as she adores her little pigeon (pah-jink-ah in Slavish) and she is pretty fond of me, too. We all packed into my car and went to the outlets together. Isabella made out the best with sandals, a swim suit and a dress. I got two tops and a skirt - only $10 each! -and I got a lovely top for my daughter, too. Nothing for the wedding and no undergarments.

We had a bite to eat in the food court and went back to great grandma's where we waited for himself. He ate the gyro we brought back for him and then we drove up to where The Girl works so Bells could go swimming.

Are you tired yet? I am! Himself went home and I went to get some stuffed cupcakes and then home to cook. Ugh.

Since dinner, I have, basically, been sitting in my recliner fooling around on the netbook and "watching" mostly mindless tv.

Now, my perfectly planned day is another example of God's sense of humor. "Man plans and God laughs?" Had everything gone according to plan I still would have taken Isabella by her mom but then great grandma wouldn't have had her usual Friday visit. My mother-in-law adores Isabella. My girl brings great joy to her and this was a hard week because it would have been my father-in-law's birthday. I am so happy we were able to bring joy to Mom

As for tomorrow, I am afraid to make plans! Truthfully, all I want is to sleep as long as possible and stay in bed until I am good and ready to get up! If someone gets in the way of that they had better look out. If Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy!

To my American friends, let's not forget the reason for Memorial Day even whilst we enjoy our bbq's and whatnot.

blessings, g

Monday, May 23, 2011

A Walk in the, uh, College Campus

Yesterday, we walked for Autism Speaks. The organization is not perfect but it a big help for families dealing with the autism spectrum.

As the team captain, the weeks leading up to the walk are stressful to me. I did nowhere near as much fundraising through sponsors as I did last year as I was paralyzed by what I saw as the immensity of it. It really isn't a big deal but, in my mind, it was of gargantuan proportions.

Last week, not only did my fms flare but my ibs decided to come along for the ride. Ugh. I am so thankful that I was able to nap and function well enough to do what I had to do.

Our team Isabella came out beautifully! The girl wanted pink but I put my foot down and we settled on orchid (pale purple). A couple of the guys were not thrilled but real men do wear purple!

How wonderful it was to have both our side of the family, Isabella's dad's side of the family and dear friends join us in support of our girl! Even my mother-in-love, who has issues with her legs, joined us in a wheelchair for the second year in a row! It was wonderful to push her along the 1.6 mile route.

After the walk, most of us broke bread at a local eatery and continued our fellowship and good time. Our girl, Bells, did so very well. We couldn't be prouder.

Will we walk again next year? As long as children are newly diagnosed, we have the strength and we are able, yes. Will I get all worked up? Probably. Let's just hope I start earlier and get more productive with corporate sponsorship!

blessings to all, g

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day and Such

It is just after 10:30 PM this Mother's Day of 2011. It was a good day.

Himself and I grabbed a bite last night - although we had to leave because the place we chose was so crowded I got overwhelmed and we had to take the meal to go. It was better at home anyway!

After church, I started to prepare the meal I am going to serve my parents when they visit tomorrow. We so rarely get to see each other and I want to have something special for them. Sunday afternoons are usually for napping but we had to go to Himself's mom's house. It was so good to see everyone there.

Isabella, at age five, is the oldest of the great-grandchildren. Her cousin Giuliana is just thirteen months old and cousin Tyler is just four weeks old. My poor Bells was so upset at not being the center of attention. When I picked up Tyler, the look on my girl's face was like I had put a knife through her heart.

We sometimes expect to be able to reason with our girl as we would an NT (neuro-typical) child but often we can't. What is going on in her mind; her intelligent, wonderful, complex mind? How does she process what she sees and hears? Is she acting like a brat or like a hurt child unable to understand that our love for other children will never take away from our love for her?

There is a very loaded question in the autism community: if you could take away your child's autism, would you? Some say a resounding, "No!" as if you are insulting their child. Those who are on the spectrum and can answer for themselves often say no.

For the parents and families of people with autism who can not communicate or are afflicted with anxiety and frustration, there is often a resounding, "Yes!"

Would I take away Isabella's autism if I could? Get back to me in a few years when she is no longer an adorable five year old; when other kids can hurt her more than they can now; when she realizes she is "different." I'll let you know then.

For now, I will love her and hug her and joyfully swim in the wonder of her hugs and kisses and her requests to sit with me, sitting so closely I can't tell where she begins and I end. I will hope that she never stops calling me Booboo replacing this special name with the generic names grandmothers go by because Booboo makes me feel special. I will walk to raise money to help others on the spectrum. I will advocate and go to meetings at school and support my daughter as best I can on this journey.

I am not a saint. I am a tired, worn out mom and grandmother not always trying my best but doing what I can when I can. There are times when I just sit and play on my netbook or watch tv and knit. I give myself permission to be lazy whenever possible. Thankfully, my best is good enough for Bells. And that is what matters.