gail's great atlantic northeast

Please Don't Use That Word

2012-02-10T20:35:00.005-05:00

As children on the spectrum are prone to do, Isabella was having a conversation with herself. One of her comments was, "Bella, you are retarded."

When questioned about it, Bells said, "I'm sorry!" She was assured she had done nothing wrong. Questioned again, she had the same reaction and then she changed the subject.

The dreaded "r" word. I have been warning the girl, and everyone else within hearing range, to get rid of that word from their vocabularies unless used in a clinical way. Our precious children on the spectrum get called all kinds of names. When the "r" word is used to hurt, it is horrid.

Click here.

Please teach that the "r" word is not acceptable. Period.

Have a blessed weekend, g

Company Girl Coffee - click here

Daybook for February 3, 2012

2012-02-03T20:13:00.006-05:00

The Simple Woman's Daybook

Outside my window...winter's darkness doesn't touch the cozy feeling I have in my modest home.

I am thinking...about bullies who, because they are so influential, can throw their weight around and, if they choose, destroy good people and organizations.

I am thankful...for my parents who are turning 75 and 80 in the next month. So very thankful that my baby brother and his wife flew well over one thousand miles to celebrate with us tomorrow!

In the kitchen...is the clean up from the cheese and mashed potato dish I made for tomorrow's feast. It is a family favorite!

I am wearing...my most comfortable pajamas. Don't you just love lounging in pj's?

I am creating...a blog post!

I am reading...there is a book waiting for me at the library. Hopefully, I will be able to pick it up tomorrow morning before I leave for my folks' house which is one and a half hours away.

I am hoping...that my anxiety doesn't get the better of me before or during tomorrow's festivities...it happens.

I am looking forward to...my son making a living wage and moving out!

I am learning...to give myself a break.

Around the house...the same as usual...heavy sigh

I am pondering...how fragile life is. Can I keep up this pace?

A favorite quote for today..."You're a good cooker, Booboo." (What my granddaughter says to me!

One of my favorite things...is having my house to myself foF hours or days at a time.

A few plans for the rest of the week: family party and Superbowl spent with friends

A peek into my day...I got Isabella off to school, weighed in at Weight Watchers (gained a pound but that's okay) and became a lifetime member, visited my niece who is also my hairstylist and got a cut and color, shopped, brought my mother-in-love to the hairdresser and got myself a manicure!

Random photo:

What in the World Did I Do All Day?

2012-01-27T22:00:00.005-05:00

As expected, I didn't get a lot of comments on my last post. That is fine with me. I have to be at peace with God.

Lately, I've been wondering where time is going. I look around and see a house that needs vacuuming and dusting and straightening out in a big way and wonder why it hasn't gotten done; why I can't get it done.

As I sit here typing, I realize I could be doing the quiet parts of these tasks (Himself goes to sleep quite early because of his early shift) but here I sit watching tv and keeping up with my "social networks."

Where did I go wrong? Let's go over the events of today:

6:00 Woke up before Isabella's arrival at around 6:20. Made tea and read my Bible.

6:20 Made Bells' breakfast, prepared her snack for school and got her washed up and ready for school.

7:50 School bus arrived and I blew kisses to my little love. Instead of going back to bed, which I usually do for a few hours, I got ready for the day.

9:15 Started driving to my Weight Watchers meeting and returned the call I missed fifteen minutes earlier from my mother-in-law. Her defibrillator had gone off (for the second time in three weeks) and she needed to go to the doctor. My nephew drove her there and I skipped my meeting and took over at the doctor's office (this has become my part time job).

11:30'ish At the hospital to have the pacemaker/defibrillator "interrogated" and found that the doctors feel an increase in medication will hopefully do the trick.

12:'ish Got Mom home and made sure she ate and drank a cup of tea. All she wanted to do was sleep so I left for....

12:45'ish ...Weight Watchers weigh in...yea! All is good. 47 down and three to go.

1:00 Met a friend to pray for missionaries who are in creative access countries (countries where missionaries are not allowed)

2:00 Nap time for me.

4:40 Emerged from nap and spent time with Isabella and did absolutely nothing else of significance.

I could have gotten things done after my nap but the energy wasn't there! Even thinking of doing anything makes me cringe inside.

Maybe some day, God willing, I will be blessed with energy. What I am thankful for is the ability to be do what I CAN do.

When I had to go on disability years ago, I never thought it would be for so long. The original reasons for this are still active and have intertwined with fibromyalgia. The times I am needed the most seem to fall on my "good" days and for this I am grateful.

What's the saying, "Man plans and God laughs?" Ha! So true. I am so very blessed.

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Life

2012-01-22T15:34:00.005-05:00

sanc·ti·ty [sangk-ti-tee] Show IPA
noun, plural -ties.
1.
holiness, saintliness, or godliness.
2.
sacred or hallowed character: the inviolable sanctity of the temple.
3.
a sacred thing.

Today is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. Thirty-nine years ago abortions became the law of the land of America. Since then, more than 53,000,000 children have been denied the right to life.

Progress in pre-natal testing has made it possible to know if your unborn child has an extra chromosome (Down Syndrome)like Addison and Abby whose parents can't imagine life without them.

Before you know it, there will probably be a pre-natal test for autism. I can't imagine a world without my Isabella. Nor can Jess imagine a world without Brooke or Jeneil a world without Rhema. There are so many others I can mention who don't have blogs.

If Tim Tebow's mom had listened to the advice of her doctors to abort because her child would, if he survived, mental and physical deficiencies, we would not have the saying "Tebowing."

The womb is an "inviolable sanctuary." If not safe there, where?

No matter what the situation, unless the mom is dying right in front of the doctor, there is no legitimate reason for abortion. If you don't want your child, send him or her to me; I will either find or give them a home.

I know this is not my usual type of post but I know with everything in me it had to be said. May United States of America repent for its sins of mass murder and may God have mercy if we do.

*If you have had an abortion, I hold no ill will against you nor do I judge you. If you need to talk, I am here.

1,,,2,,,3,,,

2012-01-20T19:47:00.004-05:00

...4...5 When I was taking education courses, a wise professor taught us to count to five slowly before calling on a student to answer a question. She explained that students process differently and it takes some longer than others to come up with an answer.

This lesson has come in very handy in grandparenting (yes, I did make up that word) a child on the autism spectrum. It seems that the brain of someone with autism doesn't work in the same way as the average person's. (If you like, I can refer you to some sites for further explanation.)

In the part of the northeast that we live in, we tend to be in a rush. This makes us want answers to our questions as soon as we ask them.

"What did you have for lunch in school today. Huh? What?"

This might be asked with little pause between the three questions.

I noticed that we were doing this with Isabella. After remembering what my dear professor said, I started pausing and watching my girl. I was actually able to "see" her gears turning while she processed the question.

When Bells was in pre-k, Jordan longed for her to be able to answer that simple question about lunch. Now, she can! Sometimes the answer comes easily and other times I need to prompt her. Her progress, though, is wonderful!

Whether on the autism spectrum or not, it is kind to wait on answers from those around us.

So, too, is it wise to wait before answering questions. I tend to suffer from "foot in mouth disease" because of some of my "unfiltered" comments.

The weekend is here and we are anticipating snow. I think I will sleep through it. What are you up to? g

This post is part of a blog hop at Company Girl via Home Sanctuary Why not visit?

Daybook

2012-01-05T22:57:00.005-05:00

From: The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...the darkness and relative quiet of 11:00 PM...a time I cherish in its peacefullness.

I am thinking...about what it will take to sleep without the interuptions of memories.

I am thankful...for my family's health and love.

In the kitchen...the dishes are washed and the floor awaits deep cleaning!

I am wearing...my comfy plaid pajamas my mother-in-love gave me for Christmas.

I am creating...a memory on my blog page...then scarves for Special Olympics.

I am going...to a reunion of the girls' chorus I was in in high school - hooray!

I am wondering...why some memories won't stay in the past.

I am reading...John Sanford's latest, Shock Wave.

I am hoping...my mother-in-love's health improves.

I am looking forward to...may parents' birthday party in February (75 and 80)!

I am learning...patience...the hard way.

Around the house...I see a disaster zone which needs addressing desperately.

I am pondering...how to keep up with the visits I need to make to the sick.

A favorite quote for today...‎"These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own." —G.K. Chesterton

One of my favorite things...being alone in a quiet house.

A few plans for the rest of the week: My reunion, Weight Watchers meeting, doctors appts.

A peek into my day...get Isabella ready for school, get myself ready for the day, try to keep up.

A Blog Dedicated to...

2011-12-30T21:10:00.004-05:00

There are some amazing autism blogs out there. One that I read on a regular basis is Diary of a Mom. Jess has helped me understand my granddaughter in ways I may have never thought of through sharing her insights into her family's journey in Autismville.

Another is Autism in a Word. Jeneil takes us through a journey of hope and faith. She fills my heart and my soul.

I was finally able to get my daughter to read one of Jess' entries and I do believe she is hooked. She suggested I write a blog about autism from a grandparents' perspective. Duh! What does she think I have been doing all these years?! To write about autism exclusively is not something I believe I could do, though. There is no shortage of material but I am not versed enough in the things that would help others the way the other blogs do.

There is not one person who has been following all these years who doesn't know that my Isabella is my heart. She is the source of so much joy and love. We love each other unconditionally and I don't see that changing.

Bogging has taken a back seat since facebook but, once again, I will try to get back into it.

Many blessings to all in the new year. g

Ho, ho, ho - Not

2011-12-12T21:25:00.003-05:00

It's that time of the year again. The time when a jolly, old elf dressed in red passes the space/time continuum to visit all little girls and boys around the world leaving them gifts their little hearts have been yearning for.

Not.

This time of year is supposed to be a celebration of God becoming man so that we might never be able to say to God, "You just don't understand!" He became human so that He would become a sacrifice so that we might live with Him forever, sins forgiven.

Every time I see a Santa or a Simpson decoration on a lawn it pierces my heart. When I asked my precious granddaughter what Christmas is and she said it is a time for presents; when I told her it is Jesus' birthday and she was horrified and said, "No!" my soul was screaming out at the lies our children are told!

I will never go against parents' wishes and tell a child that there is no Santa Claus. Indeed, if they have Santa as a "by the way" and have a Christ-centered message, fine. However, I could not tell my children there is a Santa. I explained about Nicholas and his generosity. My daughter, whose father was big into Santa, tried to get me to believe. My husband wanted to do Santa but we didn't and my son says he never missed it. Actually, when he was around eleven, a friend of his was very angry that his mother had lied to him by teaching him Santa is real!

After discussing Christmas with my friends, I find that we agree that we would all have a wonderful time with the season if gifts were not involved. I can not afford to buy anything right now. Himself is willing to go into debt to make sure our children have something under the tree and we will get something for Isabella. Why do we have to have this pressure?

Now that I have spouted my Christmas phooey, may I now wish for you that the wonder, beauty and sacrifice of Christmas will be the center of your celebration.

Blessings from my home to yours, g

ABC Thankfulness

2011-11-24T19:07:00.003-05:00

Apples! They have been a blessing in my weight loss journey as I cut them up or microwave bake them with cinnamon and plain Greek yogurt.

Brothers. I love them and they love me.

Chocolate, dark chocolate

Dining. Isn't food delightful?

Experience that I can pass on when it is good and learn from when it is not.

Fun - something I didn't allow myself enough of when I was younger and what I cherish now!

(the)Girl, my lovely daughter who needs to find some filters to her comments (the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree) but who loves me.

Handicapped Parking for my dear mother-in-love who has such a hard time getting around.

Isabella! No surprise there. She holds my heart.

Jesus - the only reason I am alive today.

Kilometers because they are shorter than miles...

Laura, my bff

Mama B., my mother-in-love.

N - the town I live in. It has been good for my family to live here. It has a small town feel even though it is densely populated.

Opportunities to serve - I wish I could do more.

Precription medications that help people to be healthy physically and mentally.

Quilts made with love to keep us warm.

Reunions that heal broken hearts.

Sisters - the one God gave me through birth, the one I got through marriage and the ones I got through friendship.

The Boy, my son who is always surprising me - sometimes in a good way and sometimes not but I love him.

Unbearable joy - the kind that makes me feel like I am going to jump out of my skin! It doesn't happen often but, when it does...

Velcro - this invention has made many a parents' life so much easier!

Worship - something I don't spend nearly enough time in.

X - when doubled, girls, along with a "y," boys!

You! It's so nice to have you stop by.

Zebras - one of my favorite prints since I was a small child.

What are you thankful for today?

Update!

2011-11-18T20:53:00.002-05:00

Isabella's birthday was lovely. We spent it with her great grandmother and one of my kids' cousins, ate pizza and ice cream cake and opened lots of presents.

Once again, thank you for letting me vent (not that you had a choice!).

Watch Out

2011-11-13T21:15:00.003-05:00

If you don’t want to hear gripes, I suggest you visit somewhere else. You have been warned.

Tomorrow is Isabella’s birthday. Six years old!!! My baby is growing up so fast. Did we have a party for her yesterday (Saturday) or today? Never mind a party; did The Girl plan on coffee and cake over the weekend? No. For weeks, we have been asking my daughter what we are going to do for Bells’ bd. Nada, zip, nothing. She told us today that she wants us to all go Dutch treat to dinner tomorrow – a school night, when she doesn’t get home from work until six and Bells needs to go to sleep by eight the latest.

I could just spit I am so t’d off. I know it seems that I am overreacting. A little back story may be needed here: Himself and I have been watching Isabella on a regular basis practically since she was born. Most of the watching has been done by moi. If Bells is sick, I am the one who calls the bus driver and I take care of her. When Himself is off will get up with our girl and let me sleep in whilst he gets her on the bus.

This isn’t so bad, right? Multiply it by 180 school days a year and with me being the one who has to do 95% of the running around including visits to great-grandma and play dates on days off, library visits when the temps are high in the summer, birthday parties, dance when it is available…are you getting the picture.

All I asked was for was cake and coffee to be planned by my daughter!!! What does she do instead? Who cares!! I am right and she is wrong. Period. Right? No? Ugh. I just had to get that off my chest. I may be wrong but I am still t’d off. On top of that, Bells thinks she is having a big party at a “bouncy” place (The Girl just told me this this evening). I don’t want her to be disappointed but that ain’t going to happen.

I’m done with my griping. I’ll end with a cute pic of the little girl who makes it all worthwhile. And she is sooo worth it.

Where Did Twenty-Four Years Go?!

2011-11-06T15:11:00.006-05:00

Twenty-four years ago today, Himself and I were married. Say what? I look in the mirror and wonder where that young woman disappeared to. When did my grandmother replace her?

Since that fateful eve, I have given birth to a son, welcomed a granddaughter, buried two grandmothers (one of whom was my best friend)and a father-in-law. Buildings have come down and wars have been fought. We moved into a house and have nearly lost it to the economy and our own fiscal foolishness.

Good things and bad have come our way and gone from our hands; many tears have fallen and many laughs have been guffawed. We have survived an autism diagnosis and watched our grandbaby triumph and fail.

There were times I thought we wouldn't make it; kindness and cruelty have come from my lips with, it seems, not enough of the former. Still, we stick around.

About my grandmother looking back at me from the mirror: she was my best friend, a woman I wanted to emulate. If I am going to age to reflect anyone, I am glad it is she, whom I still miss every day.

Happy anniversary, Himself. Let's try a little harder.

Sunday, Sunday

2011-10-23T14:04:00.002-04:00

Nearly every Sunday during (American) football season, my son's friends fill my living room and watch the games together. Truth be told, I like it. I would like to have my living room to myself but seeing them enjoy each other is worth the bother.

Unlike other wives, I am not a football widow. I like the game and understand it. The Boy started playing when he was seven years old but my interest was piqued before that; long before that. I, gail of the great Atlantic northeast, am a Seattle Seahawks fan! Yup, the entire country stands between me and my team.

There is really no reason why I got into that other than Sundays in autumn are all about football. And church. Period. Also, I want to get some entries going.

Trying to figure what to write has been so difficult. Do you really want to hear about my tantrum last night when I couldn't take what was going on any longer? Or about how I am disappointed that The Girl isn't taking Isabella to the free special needs dance classes? Or that I am sleeping a lot, probably because of fibromyalgia and the stress of having to be up very early with Bells to get her ready for the school bus? Or that I need some time to myself and haven't been getting it? That I need a visit with my bff in the worst way?

Why would you want to hear about any of that?! I don't even want to hear about it. I am not liking myself very much right now but that will pass.

Let me leave you with this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f11-ClTi3og Maybe you will forgive me when you can't get this out of your head!

Life Goes On

2011-10-16T18:35:00.000-04:00

The last few weeks have flashed by in a whirlwind. The Girl and Bells moved into a new place close by and we helped with that. Exhausting for all involved and we are hoping for the best.Establishing Isabella in her new schedule at school has been difficult. Instead of being in the contained classroom all day, she has been entering school with the "neuro-typical" (N.T.) class (e.g. regular kindergarten class) and doing all her specials (library, phys. ed., music, etc.) with that class whilst doing her academics in the contained (autism) classroom. Her teacher from last year and the child study team leader felt she was ready for this. However, our nearly always happy girl has shown anxiety like never before. Fortunately, her child study team leader saw her crying when she was leaving the gym one day and Bells was able to express that it was too noisy and too many kids and whatever else was bothering her. As a result, the team leader was able to ascertain which specials Bells felt comfortable. Things are going a bit better now. Maybe one more week will show a greater change. I want my happy girl back.

(Isabella with her greatgrandmother)Yesterday, I gave Himself the day off and went to a wedding and reception with some friends. You know, I just might make a habit of this! We have gone to so many wedding receptions because of the number of children his friends have that it tends to get old. He is older than I am and some of MY friends' children are of marrying age now. If he isn't friends as a couple with my friends I will probably go the weddings by myself! With all that has been going on, I am beat. When you don't give in to the fatique of fibromyalgia, it will bite you in the bum. Today has been a true day of rest as in staying in bed until mid afternoon and doing no work at all. It's a crazy balancing act but at least I am not experiencing a lot of pain. Yea! (That was last week when I didn't give in! Flat on my back and sleeping for a day but that's okay.)All in all, life hasn't been all that bad. Our bellies are full, we have clothing on our backs, a roof over our heads and a loving Father in heaven who meets all our needs.Blessings to all, g

What's Been Going On (An Update)

2011-09-28T20:56:00.002-04:00

Boring title, eh? I’m kind of out of it so hang on and be patient.

If you are viewing this on blogger, woo-hoo! I'm not locked out any more!

Presently, I am taking care of Himself and The Boy who both had their wisdom teeth removed yesterday. Today is a little better probably because they are sleeping a lot from taking pain meds. (yea, meds!). Besides taking care of them, I had to bring Isabella to school and my mother-in-love to the doctor. The nap I took this afternoon was delicious.

I bright spot in my life was my recent meeting with another blog buddy! I was so excited to meet “S” and we had such a wonderful time. She was traveling through my state and stopped on the way home so we could spend a little time together. It is wonderful to not be disappointed when meeting people I have know virtually for years. I have been blessed in this department. S warm and intelligent and someone I would be proud to call friend.

As for Bells, school is a lot different for her this year and she had a rocky start. She seems to be calming down and enjoying herself. She is with neurotypical students in the beginning of the day and for specials. How I love that kid – even though she can be a brat…

As of last Friday, I have now lost 35 pounds! Weight Watchers is a very good plan if you follow it. I also rejoined the gym where my son is a personal trainer. Other people pay and get a half hour. I don’t pay and get grumbling and maybe fifteen minutes. Remind me of why I let him live here?

This past year I have taken up knitting and crocheting. My gram taught me when I was a child but I didn’t have the patience. In knitting, I have made a number of scarves and prayer shawls. A prayer shawl is one that you pray over the person you are making it for. I now give them for baby and bridal shower gifts. They seem to be appreciated.

Hmmm, what else…I really want to be here blogging. Really! It’s that same old thing, though. I don’t want to write about nothing. I’m popping in to keep in touch.

Blessings to all, g

I Won't Forget

2011-09-11T17:30:00.000-04:00

A rerun for several years...

It was a beautiful day much like today. Temperature was around 70 and school had just started again after a long summer break. I had just finished an exercise video and was about to start the treadmill when I turned on the tv. Instead of the regular programming the station was showing a view of the World Trade Center which was expelling billowing, dark gray smoke.

I called Himself at work to see what the buzz was there since he was in the travel industry. They thought it was a small plane gone astray just as one did at the Empire State Building many years ago. While we were talking, a second plane went into the other Tower and I screamed, "OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod! It was then we knew we were being attacked.

After hanging up with Himself, I tried to go on the treadmill. Was it shock? A need for normalcy or routine in my world which had just been turned upside down? I can't tell you but I remember that I couldn't stay on that machine but, instead, sat riveted to the television.

I called my sister and gave her office the lowdown. I called my parents, brother, friends and told those who hadn't heard yet to put on their tv's. What channel, they asked. Any channel.

Thinking about bioterrorism, I went to the nearest supermarket and bought twenty-two gallons of water and two gallons of bleach for purifying water. I then filled up my gas tank and told the Arab attendant to be careful. Next was a stop at my dd's home. She was a mess but I knew that her friends were on their way so I went to The Boy's school.

The Boy was in the lunch room and I explained to him and his friends what was happening as calmly as possible. They didn't seem spooked so I asked my boy if he wanted to stay in school and be brave for his friends. He said yes. As I was leaving, I stopped in at the nurse's office. I told her I didn't know what was the right thing to do. She told me that, yes, I did know. I immediately went back to the lunch room and took my son home.

Himself was not permitted to leave work until three that afternoon. We had to turn off the television despite the fact that I didn't want to. It just wasn't good for our boy to watch this over and over again.

Living close to a very busy airport we are quite used to hearing planes going overhead at any time of the day. One of the most eerie parts of that day was the silence of commuter jet traffic and the roar of military jets and the pulsing of helicopter rotors which occasionally swept by.

We had no idea what was to come next. All we knew was that we were together, God was and is alive and well and that His eye was/is on us.

Truth be told, I don't remember much else about that day. I was helping to care for a friend who was dying of cancer and had to compartmentalize everything to be able to cope. In the following months, I became anorexic (not for the first time), my son graduated from sixth grade, my dear friend died and I went into an eating disorders facility for three weeks to keep from dying myself. However, on September 11, 2002, the trauma hit me big time. I kept expecting the same thing to happen. It didn't, thankfully, but the PTSD Alien Hunter speaks of was and, I believe, is still rampant in these here parts.

On this fifth anniversay, I sit here and wonder when the next attack will occur and if it will happen in the same places. Could my son cope with watching a site in NYC smoking and burning for two months again? I don't care what your political leanings are but I believe this administration has strengthened our security greatly. Our borders are still porous and that is a problem we need to deal with. Whether or not we belong in Iraq will not be discussed on this site and I will immediately delete any posts referring to it.

One of my greatest fears is that we, as a nation, have become complacent. Yes, we have to get on with our lives. However, there are people who complain about taking off their shoes before hopping on a plane and many who no longer fly their flags like we did five years ago. The taxis in NYC are honking their horns loudly again unlike the control they showed for what I believe was months after 9/11.

One good change has remained, though. We say, "I love you," much more freely than we did five years ago. We are much more aware of how fragile and finite our lives are. This is a very good thing.

Moving Right Along

2011-08-07T20:27:00.000-04:00

We had Isabella’s IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting recently and were thrilled to learn that Bells’ teacher and the child study team feel Isabella is ready to enter kindergarten. In the morning, she will enter the school with an NT (neurotypical) class and then go to her contained classroom with only three other students! All her specials (art, music, phys. ed., etc.) and recess will also be with the NT class! This is a wonderful improvement and we are thrilled with her progress.

The Girl is concerned, though, that Bells is noticing when NT kids her age and older say hurtful things like, “Why does she act like a baby?” She isn’t where they are socially yet and they don’t get it. Breaks a mom’s (and a Booboo’s) heart.

We are in the dog days of summer and autumn can’t get here soon enough for this cool weather girl. Ragweed must be blooming because my whole household is hurting. So thankful for air conditioning.

We’ve been invited to go down the shore for a few days with our dear friends. Himself is so excited. More than two nights away from my bed is difficult for me but I will do it for him. Ugh.

I’m down 30 pounds now! Twenty more to go. Feels goooood!

Last week, I spent five and a half hours with a 91 year old learning all about her life. It was so interesting! I love seniors, do you?

What’s going on in your world? I really want know!

blessings, gail

Another This and That

2011-07-15T21:26:00.005-04:00

It has been way too long so I am going to just jump right in.

It looks like blogger is behaving so let's keep our finders crossed.

Last month, Himself and I walked a 5k with friends for The Sharing Network which organizes organ and tissue donations. I have been a registered organ donor since I was in college. We can't take it with us, right?

Within a week or two of the walk, the person who organized our team donated her kidney to a dying stranger so that another stranger would donate one of their kidneys to one of my friend's friends. Got that? If you don't match the person you know, you can donate to someone else and your person will get a kidney from someone else who did the same thing! The person she donated to is healing, no longer dying, and her friend is coming along. Is this beautiful or what?

Got a phone call today from a friend whose son, also on the spectrum, is a friend of Isabella's. For the last two days, since our play date, he has been obsessing over his "best friend ever," Bella, and how he misses her. He wrote her a love letter in chalk on the sidewalk and has been making cards for her. His mom finally had to call so he could talk with her and ask Bells why she didn't sit with him on the school bus with him! Bells told me she hurt his feelings. (In her defense, she is one of the first kids picked up and he is one of the last.) Both of them were able to express themselves so well! Two children who started out non-verbal! Hopefully, this will be worked out but I am impressed at how far they have both come this past year.

Speaking of Bells, I went with her and The Girl to a neurology appointment the school wanted her to have. Along with the autism diagnosis, she is now officially diagnosed with ADHD. Duh. We could have told you that two or three years ago. Bother her parents and her uncle have the condition. Shiney things are very distracting...

Heat. We are experiencing heat in the great Atlantic northeast - as is much of the country. We do not like heat (yes, that is a royal "we") We don't dig it, enjoy it, tolerate it well or long for it in the cold of winter. Himself dreams of retiring to Florida - ha! See ya.

I don't remember whether or not I mentioned that The Boy passed his exam and is now a certified personal trainer. He is so much happier doing this than working in a liquor store moving boxes of product around all day. We are so proud of him.

Well, that's all I've got in me for now. There's so much more but it has been a long, long day. Blessings to all, g

I Give Up

2011-06-16T14:05:00.001-04:00

Blogspot/blogger is giving me agida. Please join me at wordpress: http://bonhomie7.wordpress.com/

Blogger Issues

2011-06-14T20:45:00.002-04:00

I have been faithfully visiting your sites but have been having a problem leaving comments. It seems that blogger isn't recognizing my account! Hopefully, this will straighten itself out. I also have a wordpress account and, when I post there copy it to this account.

Hope all is well, gail

Oy, How did that Happen?

2011-05-27T22:43:00.003-04:00

My day was planned out perfectly: bring Isabella to school, stop at the library, weight watchers meeting, trip to an outlet area for new "unmentionables" and maybe a new dress for our niece's wedding, maybe a trip to Trader Joe's and then, blessedly, a nap!

But nooooooo! As I pulled into the drop off area at school, I noticed I was the only one there. The district didn't use all its snow days so we have a four day Memorial Day weekend. No one told me! Isabella was confused but dealt with it. "Is school finished?" "For this week it is, honey."

After a week of congestion and coughing (allergies?), Bells could have slept in this morning and this upset me. I hate to wake her up when she is in a deep sleep. That might have bothered me more than having my plans upset.

We went to the library, one of Bells favorite places, and then to weigh in but not stay for the meeting (another pound and a bit - just over 21 pounds!) and then we went to see great grandma. This was a good thing as she adores her little pigeon (pah-jink-ah in Slavish) and she is pretty fond of me, too. We all packed into my car and went to the outlets together. Isabella made out the best with sandals, a swim suit and a dress. I got two tops and a skirt - only $10 each! -and I got a lovely top for my daughter, too. Nothing for the wedding and no undergarments.

We had a bite to eat in the food court and went back to great grandma's where we waited for himself. He ate the gyro we brought back for him and then we drove up to where The Girl works so Bells could go swimming.

Are you tired yet? I am! Himself went home and I went to get some stuffed cupcakes and then home to cook. Ugh.

Since dinner, I have, basically, been sitting in my recliner fooling around on the netbook and "watching" mostly mindless tv.

Now, my perfectly planned day is another example of God's sense of humor. "Man plans and God laughs?" Had everything gone according to plan I still would have taken Isabella by her mom but then great grandma wouldn't have had her usual Friday visit. My mother-in-law adores Isabella. My girl brings great joy to her and this was a hard week because it would have been my father-in-law's birthday. I am so happy we were able to bring joy to Mom

As for tomorrow, I am afraid to make plans! Truthfully, all I want is to sleep as long as possible and stay in bed until I am good and ready to get up! If someone gets in the way of that they had better look out. If Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy!

To my American friends, let's not forget the reason for Memorial Day even whilst we enjoy our bbq's and whatnot.

blessings, g

A Walk in the, uh, College Campus

2011-05-23T21:12:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, we walked for Autism Speaks. The organization is not perfect but it a big help for families dealing with the autism spectrum.

As the team captain, the weeks leading up to the walk are stressful to me. I did nowhere near as much fundraising through sponsors as I did last year as I was paralyzed by what I saw as the immensity of it. It really isn't a big deal but, in my mind, it was of gargantuan proportions.

Last week, not only did my fms flare but my ibs decided to come along for the ride. Ugh. I am so thankful that I was able to nap and function well enough to do what I had to do.

Our team Isabella came out beautifully! The girl wanted pink but I put my foot down and we settled on orchid (pale purple). A couple of the guys were not thrilled but real men do wear purple!

How wonderful it was to have both our side of the family, Isabella's dad's side of the family and dear friends join us in support of our girl! Even my mother-in-love, who has issues with her legs, joined us in a wheelchair for the second year in a row! It was wonderful to push her along the 1.6 mile route.

After the walk, most of us broke bread at a local eatery and continued our fellowship and good time. Our girl, Bells, did so very well. We couldn't be prouder.

Will we walk again next year? As long as children are newly diagnosed, we have the strength and we are able, yes. Will I get all worked up? Probably. Let's just hope I start earlier and get more productive with corporate sponsorship!

blessings to all, g

Mother's Day and Such

2011-05-08T22:32:00.003-04:00

It is just after 10:30 PM this Mother's Day of 2011. It was a good day.

Himself and I grabbed a bite last night - although we had to leave because the place we chose was so crowded I got overwhelmed and we had to take the meal to go. It was better at home anyway!

After church, I started to prepare the meal I am going to serve my parents when they visit tomorrow. We so rarely get to see each other and I want to have something special for them. Sunday afternoons are usually for napping but we had to go to Himself's mom's house. It was so good to see everyone there.

Isabella, at age five, is the oldest of the great-grandchildren. Her cousin Giuliana is just thirteen months old and cousin Tyler is just four weeks old. My poor Bells was so upset at not being the center of attention. When I picked up Tyler, the look on my girl's face was like I had put a knife through her heart.

We sometimes expect to be able to reason with our girl as we would an NT (neuro-typical) child but often we can't. What is going on in her mind; her intelligent, wonderful, complex mind? How does she process what she sees and hears? Is she acting like a brat or like a hurt child unable to understand that our love for other children will never take away from our love for her?

There is a very loaded question in the autism community: if you could take away your child's autism, would you? Some say a resounding, "No!" as if you are insulting their child. Those who are on the spectrum and can answer for themselves often say no.

For the parents and families of people with autism who can not communicate or are afflicted with anxiety and frustration, there is often a resounding, "Yes!"

Would I take away Isabella's autism if I could? Get back to me in a few years when she is no longer an adorable five year old; when other kids can hurt her more than they can now; when she realizes she is "different." I'll let you know then.

For now, I will love her and hug her and joyfully swim in the wonder of her hugs and kisses and her requests to sit with me, sitting so closely I can't tell where she begins and I end. I will hope that she never stops calling me Booboo replacing this special name with the generic names grandmothers go by because Booboo makes me feel special. I will walk to raise money to help others on the spectrum. I will advocate and go to meetings at school and support my daughter as best I can on this journey.

I am not a saint. I am a tired, worn out mom and grandmother not always trying my best but doing what I can when I can. There are times when I just sit and play on my netbook or watch tv and knit. I give myself permission to be lazy whenever possible. Thankfully, my best is good enough for Bells. And that is what matters.

Dribs and Drabs

2011-04-28T20:32:00.005-04:00

It's hard to come up with a title for a post when I have no clue what I am going to write about so I will leave that until I finish.

After meeting some wonderfully interesting new people through the Five Minutes for Moms blog party, I find that not writing seems lame. If all the other busy people I visit can find time to write why can't I?

It is not really about time. It is the fear of boring people to tears. Hmmm...boring to tears...what causes that...yawning? I digress...I like to digress...

Life in my little corner of the great Atlantic northeast is rarely boring. Three to four days a week I take my grandbaby, Isabella (Bells or Boo to me most of the time) to school. Morning is not my favorite time of day so this is an effort. After that, if my fms (fibromyalgia) isn't kicking my bum causing me to have to go back to bed for a couple of hours, I try to get some work done. I don't often succeed. You see, I have an aversion to housework. I say it is because I am a perfectionist. If I can't do it perfectly, why do it at all?!

I am the team captain for our Autism Speaks walk next month. By this time last year, I had a team of about fifteen and had raised hundreds of dollars. My team is only around six people right now and I haven't even raised $200. This is very discouraging.

~heavy sigh~

Quite a bit of my time has been spent helping out mother-in-love. Yes, you read that right. I love my mother-in-law. She is 85 and in poor health and I am the only one in the area who doesn't have a full-time job. I don't mind. It is a labor of love.

Too much time is spent on my netbook. 'nuff said about that.

For the last few months, I have been enjoying a study of the Old Testament that a friend teaches and have started a study of the gospel of John with another friend. It has been quite some time since I have been in a Bible study group and this is a great development.

My eyes are tearing up. Bored to tears....I won't put you through any more mediocrity. Just know that I want to stay in your lives and will keep up as best I can.

blessings, g

Girls Just Want to Have Fun!

2011-04-17T16:48:00.002-04:00

A few years back, our church started something called "cell" groups. These groups encouraged open, intimate relationships. Our all women groups became very close for the most part and age didn't matter.

Currently, we don't have enough female leaders to have women's cells (the men are hooked up just fine) but we still have close relationships.

One of the ladies recently turned 40 and a friend decided to have a get together to celebrate. Only five in all could make it so it turned into a dinner party. The hostess, being a foodie and gifted cook, prepared an outrageously delicious meal of risotto, shrimp in garlic sauce, mussels in a lovely red sauce and a beautiful green salad. Two of us baked chocolate confections for dessert. Oh, I am so glad I saved up my weight watchers points all day!

Although the dinner was fab, the best part of the evening, to me, was the laughing. Oh, how we laughed. Some people probably think that a bunch of "church ladies" would be boring but, trust me, had you been a fly on the wall, you probably would have had a grand time, too! We stayed so late that Himself called to make sure I was okay! (It was a dark and stormy night...)

This particular night was important to me because I tend to isolate - especially in the evenings. The hostess made a special call to me instead of counting on the email she sent out to see if I was coming. This kindness nearly made me cry. My self-esteem is not always all that high.

Ladies, hold your girlfriends close. They understand like a man can't. Nurture your relationships and don't take them for granted.

Have a blessed week, g

A to Z Meme

2011-04-09T20:20:00.002-04:00

Haven't done a Meme in a long time so here goes:

A. Age: 54 - Oy, when did that happen!

B. Bed size: Queen but love a King

C. Chore you dislike: ...all of them?

D. Dogs: Happily, none.

E. Essential start to your day: sleeping in...

F. Favorite color: a certain shade of green and lavenders and aubergine

G. Gold or silver: silver

H. Height: Was 5' 1 3/4 inches all through junior high and high school and grew to
5' 2 1/2" ion my 20's. The women in my family tend to do that.

I. Instruments you play(ed): In my dreams, I can play piano...

J. Job title: Chief cook and bottle washer.

K. Kids: A daughter and a son, both grown, oh, and my husband...

L. Live: The Great Atlantic Northeast!

M. Mom’s name: Marie

N. Nicknames: My hubbie sometimes calls me Fudd.

O. Overnight hospital stays: Oy, there are quite a few but I'll just mention giving birth to my babies.

P. Pet peeves: Improper grammar,e.g. using adjectives instead of adverbs when appropriate and "I" instead of "me" when appropriate.

Q. Quote from a movie: "Illusions are dangerous people; they have no flaws." the new Sabrina

S. Siblings: older sister and two younger brothers. The youngest brother is fourteen years younger and he is half son/half brother!

T. Time you wake up: as late as possible

U. Underwear: Wish they were nicer - figure I'll splurge when all the weight is off.

V. Vegetables you don’t like: brussels sprouts, asparagus, "baby" corn

W. What makes you run late: Nothing if I can help it.

X. X-rays you’ve had: Sooo very many

Yummy food you make: Just about everything I make! I can cook AND I can bake.

Z. Zoo animal favorites: zebras

What about you?

Ready for the Weekend

2011-04-08T20:01:00.002-04:00

Oy, what a long week! Isabella spent two days home from school with a cold. Thankfully, it didn't turn into anything worse like her mom had.

Saturday mornings are my time to sleep in and make up for the energy I expend during the week. Fibromyalgia doesn't respect that have "places to go and people to see." If I didn't have Saturdays to recharge I would be layed out and unable to do what I have to do.

I am blessed that my fms is not totally debilitating. Some people sleep up to eighteen hours a day!

Next week is spring vacation and The Girl (my daughter who is a nanny) has most of the week off to spend with Bells. Yea! A week off for me!

It is supposed to be 80 degrees this Monday. Not good! Already the pollen count is high. Those who have been around a while know that hot weather, pollen and humidity are not my friends. Yuck.

I realize I am jabbering without a destination but, if I wait until I come up with something "deep" or amusing it might take a while.

Oh, Team Isabella walks again for the Walk for Autism Speaks. If you would like to donate, please email me and I will give you the information. We raise nearly $3000 last year!

Hope ya'll have a great weekend, g

Ultimate Blog Party

2011-04-04T20:56:00.004-04:00

I'm joining the Ultimate Blog Party from Five Minutes for Moms!

To get aquainted, my name is gail and I am a mom and grandmom in the northeastern USA. My life is full and busy looking after my home and my five year old granddaughter, Isabella, who is on the autism spectrum.

Currently, I am organizing, for the second year, our walk for Autism Speaks. Last year, our team raised nearly $3000! I even painted my nails blue for the occasion!

In January, I joined Weight Watchers and have taken off 14 pounds of the 50 I hope to lose. My treadmill has been dusted off and, I am happy to say, it is getting a work out. I am tired of being frumpy Booboo, as Isabella calls me.

Finding new recipes that are appealing to my family and are WW friendly has become a mission in my life. I will be happy to share.

Looking forward to meeting new "friends" through this outreach.

Blessings, gail

Light it Up Blue!

2011-03-28T21:18:00.002-04:00

April is Autism Awareness Month. April 2 is World Autism Awareness Day. On this date, homes and landmarks around the world will be lighting it up blue. My porch will have a blue light, the Empire State Building will shine blue, oh, so many places will shine the light on the need for people to understand the fastest growing healthcare crisis in America, maybe the world.

Please read this letter to President Obama and leave a comment so that he can see how important it would be to the nations, the world, to light up the White House blue: A Diary of a Mom Letter to the President- http://lightthewhitehouseblue.wordpress.com/2011/03/16/this-is-my-autism/#comments

Thank you so much, gail

Catch Up

2011-03-13T20:46:00.003-04:00

Well, daylight savings gave us an extra hour of light today. It was nice but what a drag for the moms trying to get their kids to go to bed on time; especially special needs kids who have issues with melatonin. Oy.

The annual walk for Autism Speaks is coming up soon. I am overwhelmed with even thinking about putting it all together again: sponsors, contributors, walkers, t-shirts - ugh! Will anyone else step up to be Team Isabella's team leader? Nah ah. Double oy.

My mother-in-love is not doing well. Having my father-in-law around until he was nearly 95 makes me think Mom's 85 years is young but that is not the truth. Congestive heart failure and bad arthritis make her so uncomfortable. We all want her around for as long as possible but have to accept reality; life is frail. Oy, oy, oy. At least my parents are in great health. Phew.

I am pleased to report that Isabella is still progressing more than she is regressing. She actually recited the eleven months of the year whilst clapping! (She left out November.) It is thrilling to see that she is learning things that neurotypical children her age are learning. We had a phone conversation earlier that made more sense than any other we have ever had. She was able to relate to the fact that tomorrow is a school day. Me: "Tomorrow is Monday, Boo." Bells: "I know that." Hooray!

Yesterday was about the 28th year (less the three they moved out of state) I celebrated St. Patrick's Day with my bff and her husband. The corned beef, cabbage, potatoes and soda bread were good but the company was great. I have been blessed with a number of people I can call "friend." So many of them are around for only a season. However, L is the one who I know will always be in my life. Another hooray!

Living in this part of the great Atlantic northeast is very expensive. Himself wants us to make plans to move to a state we can afford to live in. Leaving my grandbaby behind is not an option as far as I am concerned. The Girl doesn't want to move. What to do? Hope God gives us perfect wisdom on this. It's so hard.

Well, that's about it for now. What's up in your life?

blessings, g

Oh, no, not again...

2011-02-26T20:58:00.003-05:00

Something I might not have shared with you in the past is that, in the past, I have suffered from crippling panic attacks. It has been a while since I feared them but, this past week, that has changed.

Out of the blue, this past Tuesday I had a full blown attack. It popped up, seemingly, out of nowhere. I was so thankful that Isabella wasn't with me as I have no idea how she might have reacted to her Booboo freaking out.

What does one of these attacks look like for me? The pressure in my chest makes me fear a heart attack. Sometimes some pain in my left arm almost convinces me. I tend to feel very hot. I believe I said out loud, "Oh, dear God, help me!" I left my seat in the living room and walked to the kitchen where I held on to the counter for dear life and remembered my training from the Claire Weekes book Hope and Help for Your Nerves .

Self talk:

You are having a panic attack
You have survived them before.
Accept that you are having this panic attack
Your heart is a very strong muscle and it will not explode.
Breathe and float through it.

Sounds too simple, right? Well, it took years for me to be able to work through this. Still, it is a horrible experience.

Why am I talking about this? Why do I talk about most things? To get the word out that we are not alone with our ills and heartaches. I could write about only rosey, wonderful things happening in my life and you could say, "Oh, what a lovely life she has!" Well, I do have a pretty good life but it is not all flowers and butterflys! It has ugliness in it. However, I always have hope.

Hope. How glorious is hope?! I know that this earthly shell is temporary and that I have a heavenly home being prepared for me. When I get there, I will not have panic attacks or fibromyalgia or weight issues. My Isabella will join me there and her autism will be left behind. My grammy, whose Parkinson's stole her expressive face, will greet me with her smile. Oh, what a wonderful hope!

Life has been tough lately. My mother-in-law is in poor health and I am the only one not working full-time so I need to be available to her for doctors' appointments. The Girl needs Himself and me to care for Isabella when she is not in school. Two things that have probably brought back the panic attacks.

Things will get better.

Blessings, g

An Update and a List

2011-02-08T20:07:00.003-05:00

After talking with the school bus driver and the aide, it seems that Isabella and A have been "fighting" and that necessitated the change of seats. Nothing was as sinister as The Girl interpreted and I am glad to report this.

As the driver and aide said, I don't care if they have autism, girls will be girls! Amen.

As for a list, I don't believe I have ever written a "bucket list." This is not a bucket list, just things I would like to learn to do:

- a martial art - My brother and I were discussing krav naga, an Israeli form, and it sounds interesting.

- how to play the piano - I know I have mentioned this before and have done nothing to move towards this goal.

- how to fly a helicopter - Yes, I have a problem with heights but still want this.

- how to increase and decrease in knitting and crocheting

- how to control my eating all of the time

- how to be less gullible

- how to dance ballroom style (I've two left feet)

I'm sure there are many more I can add to this list.

What is on yours?

Thanks to The Writer's Kaffeeklatsch for the inspiration for this.

g

Hurting Hearts

2011-02-04T20:32:00.003-05:00

My daughter called me this evening to ask why "A" doesn't sit with Bells on the bus any more. Truth be told, I didn't know this. Isabella was obsessed with A and we have had a play date and A came to Bells' birthday party.

When The Girl asked Bells why, all she could say was that A is now sitting with L who is mean. "Is L mean to you, Baby?" "Yes. She makes this face(makes an ugly face) at me.

Although our Bells has come so very far this past year, it is hard to not be able to get the whole story from her. I know I can ask the bus driver and monitor on Monday but this leaves the entire weekend for my daughter to feel badly and fear that her baby is hurting.

Our girl has been going through some changes lately. She is still loving and sweet but she has learned how to throw a wicked tantrum and can shed crocodile tears with the best of them.

On the positive side, she is progressing socially and educationally. We are seeing an improvement in fine motor skills. Her school saw fit to get her physical therapy because, well, she needs it! She falls down a lot and bumps into things. (Yes, we did get her eyes examined.)

Last year, my dear daughter would say, "If only she could tell me what she had for lunch today." This year, our girl can tell you what she had for lunch and who did what during lunch!

Maybe next year we will be hearing what is going on on the school bus in detail from our dear one.

Here We Go Again

2011-01-11T22:07:00.003-05:00

In my little part of the Great Atlantic Northeast, it is hit or miss with snow. We are currently experiencing the third significant snow fall of the season. School was canceled a day in advance which is practically unheard of in our small town.

As you may or may not recall, Himself is a BDO or Behavior Detection Officer for the TSA at a major airport. He usually wakes up at 2:30 AM for his 4 AM shift. His drive is usually under fifteen minutes but I suggested he and a few of his buddies get a hotel room at the airport. The worst of the storm is supposed to be during his commute time.

So, The Boy and I are here in our warm home, he in his room probably playing video games and I in my living room,alone,typing this entry and watching an HGTV show I recorded. Ah, bliss. There is a knitting project and a new book on the floor beside me and I am content.

Being alone is fine with me. As a matter of fact, I covet my time alone. Himself doesn't get it and has gone as far as to suggest to at least one person from church to spend time with me so that I wouldn't be alone. Yes, I enjoy time spent with friends and family. But there is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your own skin at times, right?

Isabella is doing well. Can those of you who have watched her grow believe she is now five years old?! She is tall an beautiful and a delight. At times, she tries my patience so that I am sorely tested. Overall, though, we are still happy each time she comes home from school.

Hope you are all content and comfortable in your home and in your own skin.

blessings, g

Major Events Not Withstanding

2011-01-09T02:08:00.002-05:00

I always seem to wait to write until I have something important to say. Then I look at other blogs that just say a few words here and there and they can be delightful!

Having such long lapses in my posts is not my ideal and it bothers me. Through blogging, I have met so many wonderful people around the world. I have been able to express my thoughts, dreams, disappointments and triumphs.

Here's to trying to keep in touch more often through this delightful medium!

A Great Explanation of Autism

2010-12-21T22:50:00.002-05:00

Really good article to help explain autism: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/lshumaker/detail?entry_id=79564

It's Beginning to look a lot...

2010-12-18T17:22:00.000-05:00

...like Valentine's day. Huh? The stores are starting to show their Valentine's wares! Before Christmas.

When I was a kid and a young adult, the stores were "magically" transformed into a winter wonderland overnight for the Friday after Thanksgiving sales. Each year the decorations seem to go up earlier. Maybe that is why I don't feel as though it is Christmas any more.

Isabella doesn't get it yet. She likes the decorations but doesn't really understand that gifts will be given for Jesus' birthday. That's okay. She will enjoy it more without the anxiety of trying to fall asleep on Christmas Eve!

Our Bells has been having some anxiety issues lately which are not uncommon to people on the spectrum. It seems that the more she progresses in some areas the more she regresses in others. Blessedly, we are still ahead of the game.

My wishes for a time a blessings to you all. May the spirit of Christmas reach you and yours as we celebrate God become man.

Much love, g

"We're not Booboo and Isabella any more;...

2010-11-18T12:56:00.003-05:00

...we the Chef Girls in the whole world!" This was Isabella's exclamation to me when we were preparing waffles yesterday. Doesn't that just make you want to plotz?! Too cute as far as I'm concerned.

Her comment and her ability to express herself made me happy and sad. You see, there are so many people on the autism spectrum who are unable to express themselves verbally. For their loved ones, it might be a guessing game as to what their needs are. I am happy that Bells can express herself and sad when others can't.

Bells doesn't show many outward signs of her condition. If you don't spend much time with her you would just see a "normal," five year old girl. It's when you are in her company for a while that you see the stimming by waving around a piece of paper she has torn, leaving behind shredded paper in her wake or wonder at her astute observations not realizing she is repeating scripts from a tv show (delayed echolalia), one way she learns to express herself. She also won't poop on the toilet yet; a common problem in our community.

We are able to take Isabella out for a meal with little possibility of a meltdown. Many, many families on the spectrum aren't so blessed. Their worlds are very small, unable to venture out to do the simplest of things with their child(ren) for fear of the world being too much for these special loved ones. Their neurotypical children are pulled in as well and their parents have the guilt of that on their already burdened shoulders.

Yes, we have it good. My heart goes out to the families who are fighting the fight and are leading the way. Two blog sites you might be interested in by moms who are making a difference are
A Diary of a Mom and Rhema's Hope. Want to know how the mind of a person with Asperger's Syndrome works? Visit Aaron at Life on the Other Side of the Wall.

I love this community. gail

How Appropriate

2010-11-08T15:05:00.003-05:00

http://www.presidentialprayerteam.com/devo

Today’s Devotional
November 8th, 2010
Sweet Sleep
When day is done and you lie down to sleep, do you rest serenely? Do the experiences of the day pass through your mind, or tomorrow’s unknowns cause you distress?
Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.
Psalm 63:3
What can change that? The Old Testament speaks of peace as prosperity, health and fulfillment, but it also talks of wholeness and harmony based on relationship. The absence of strife (peace) is found only through the presence of God. David says that "the Lord has set apart the godly" and hears when you call to Him. He tells you to "ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent." (Psalm 4:3-4) David took refuge in that. You, too, can be fully aware of God’s presence and His willingness and ability to answer your prayers.
Your difficult circumstances, dangers you encounter, or illnesses may not go away. But you can have the confidence of David. Unrest and instability in the nation affect its leaders. Military forces around the world face threats every day. Pray for them. Put your trust in the Lord. Let your inner turmoil be quieted. Then close your eyes and enjoy the sweet sleep only God can give.
Recommended Reading: Proverbs 3:19-26
J.K. – Your Prayer Team writing staff

I must remember that the battle is not mine but the Lord's. My son is not my son but God's. Lord, give me, please, the strength and integrity to open my hands and let go of the firm hold I think I have on my children. g

Trying to Get in the Groove Again

2010-10-14T21:05:00.000-04:00

Getting back into regular blogging in this age of facebook is proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be. Instant gratification has spoiled me.

The Girl and I went to Isabella’s IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting today. We are so pleased with Bell’s progress. Her teacher, therapists and team leader are all so professional AND loving. Bells did well in her previous school but this one is so much more detailed in their observations and plans. We are so blessed!

On Saturday, The Boy turns 21. Twenty-one! Where has the time gone. He is turning out to be a nice man. I wish him happiness and success. My baby.

My baby bro is coming up from Texas this weekend and I will get to hug him on Sunday! How can a year have gone by already!

I started a computer program with Isabella yesterday. It is called Starfall (www.starfall.com). Hopefully, it will begin her computer literacy and she will learn a thing or two! Her attention span seems to be increasing and I am thankful for that.

Sorry for the scattered way I am writing. Hopefully, once I get “back into the groove” MY attention span will increase!

Blessings, g

Women, Take Heed

2010-09-28T15:08:00.003-04:00

In these waning days of September, the month dedicated to ovarian cancer awareness, I would be remiss to not mention the signs and symptoms of this silent killer:

Symptoms of Ovarian Cancer
Even in its early stages ovarian cancer has symptoms. Research indicates that 95 percent of women with ovarian cancer had symptoms and 90 percent of women experienced symptoms with early-stage ovarian cancer. Symptoms vary from woman to woman and many times depend on the location of the tumor and its impact on the surrounding organs. Many of the symptoms mimic other conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome.
The Gynecologic Cancer Foundation, the Society of Gynecologic Oncologists and the American Cancer Society, with significant support from the Alliance formed a consensus statement on ovarian cancer. The Ovarian Cancer National Alliance has endorsed the consensus statement, which was announced in June 2007. The statement follows.
Historically ovarian cancer was called the “silent killer” because symptoms were not thought to develop until the chance of cure was poor. However, recent studies have shown this term is untrue and that the following symptoms are much more likely to occur in women with ovarian cancer than women in the general population. These symptoms include:
Bloating
Pelvic or abdominal pain
Difficulty eating or feeling full quickly
Urinary symptoms (urgency or frequency)
Women with ovarian cancer report that symptoms are persistent and represent a change from normal for their bodies. The frequency and/or number of such symptoms are key factors in the diagnosis of ovarian cancer. Several studies show that even early stage ovarian cancer can produce these symptoms.
Women who have these symptoms almost daily for more than a few weeks should see their doctor, preferably a gynecologist. Prompt medical evaluation may lead to detection at the earliest possible stage of the disease. Early stage diagnosis is associated with an improved prognosis.
Please visit OCNA for more information.

Taken from www.tealtoes.org

Welcome to Holland

2010-09-11T22:36:00.001-04:00

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
byEmily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I Won't Forget

2010-09-10T22:13:00.002-04:00

It was a beautiful day much like today. Temperature was around 70 and school had just started again after a long summer break. I had just finished an exercise video and was about to start the treadmill when I turned on the tv. Instead of the regular programming the station was showing a view of the World Trade Center which was expelling billowing, dark gray smoke.

I called Himself at work to see what the buzz was there since he was in the travel industry. They thought it was a small plane gone astray just as one did at the Empire State Building many years ago. While we were talking, a second plane went into the other Tower and I screamed, "OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod! It was then we knew we were being attacked.

After hanging up with Himself, I tried to go on the treadmill. Was it shock? A need for normalcy or routine in my world which had just been turned upside down? I can't tell you but I remember that I couldn't stay on that machine but, instead, sat riveted to the television.

I called my sister and gave her office the lowdown. I called my parents, brother, friends and told those who hadn't heard yet to put on their tv's. What channel, they asked. Any channel.

Thinking about bioterrorism, I went to the nearest supermarket and bought twenty-two gallons of water and two gallons of bleach for purifying water. I then filled up my gas tank and told the Arab attendant to be careful. Next was a stop at my dd's home. She was a mess but I knew that her friends were on their way so I went to The Boy's school.

The Boy was in the lunch room and I explained to him and his friends what was happening as calmly as possible. They didn't seem spooked so I asked my boy if he wanted to stay in school and be brave for his friends. He said yes. As I was leaving, I stopped in at the nurse's office. I told her I didn't know what was the right thing to do. She told me that, yes, I did know. I immediately went back to the lunch room and took my son home.

Himself was not permitted to leave work until three that afternoon. We had to turn off the television despite the fact that I didn't want to. It just wasn't good for our boy to watch this over and over again.

Living close to a very busy airport we are quite used to hearing planes going overhead at any time of the day. One of the most eerie parts of that day was the silence of commuter jet traffic and the roar of military jets and the pulsing of helicopter rotors which occasionally swept by.

We had no idea what was to come next. All we knew was that we were together, God was and is alive and well and that His eye was/is on us.

Truth be told, I don't remember much else about that day. I was helping to care for a friend who was dying of cancer and had to compartmentalize everything to be able to cope. In the following months, I became anorexic (not for the first time), my son graduated from sixth grade, my dear friend died and I went into an eating disorders facility for three weeks to keep from dying myself. However, on September 11, 2002, the trauma hit me big time. I kept expecting the same thing to happen. It didn't, thankfully, but the PTSD Alien Hunter speaks of was and, I believe, is still rampant in these here parts.

On this fifth anniversay, I sit here and wonder when the next attack will occur and if it will happen in the same places. Could my son cope with watching a site in NYC smoking and burning for two months again? I don't care what your political leanings are but I believe this administration has strengthened our security greatly. Our borders are still porous and that is a problem we need to deal with. Whether or not we belong in Iraq will not be discussed on this site and I will immediately delete any posts referring to it.

One of my greatest fears is that we, as a nation, have become complacent. Yes, we have to get on with our lives. However, there are people who complain about taking off their shoes before hopping on a plane and many who no longer fly their flags like we did five years ago. The taxis in NYC are honking their horns loudly again unlike the control they showed for what I believe was months after 9/11.

One good change has remained, though. We say, "I love you," much more freely than we did five years ago. We are much more aware of how fragile and finite our lives are. This is a very good thing.

What About the Innocents?

2010-08-23T20:54:00.005-04:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I would not be a fan of Ms. Huffington. However, she did run an article that needs to be first page news in every publication around the country and maybe around the world.

Are you willing to take a few minutes to comment on the Huffington Post web site in order to bring to light the abuse happening to our children who have no voice? Please visit and speak up for our innocents: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-stagliano/post_701_b_685954.html

Thank y0u, gail

Nearly Spoonless

2010-08-09T21:16:00.000-04:00

Conditions this summer have left me nearly spoonless (please see last entry for explanation) for blogging. It has been a hot, humid season and I have had to care for Isabella much more than planned.

As I sit here typing, my bed is calling out to me to take a nap. Himself is out with The Boy and Bells is watching Cinderella for maybe the fifteenth time in a month so I have no option but to stay awake.

Life has been challenging but we are muddling through. God's mercy is evident in that we still have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and clothing on our backs.

Thinking about the souls I have met here brings a warm feeling to my heart. Do you know that when you come to mind I try to remember to pray for you?

For dear J whose health has been a trial and is awaiting treatment.
For wonderful R who is going to school and taking care of home and hearth whilst battling her own health issues.
For T across the pond who never fails to bring a smile to my face.
For G who lives with some of the same challenges on the "spectrum" that we live with.
B, the survivor whose mom is battling a devastating illness.
Irrepressible 'r as he continues to labor in the Lord's army.
C, a proud professional working to bring justice to a system that is failing. My beloved adopted child W, who has a spirit of adventure and love.
My adopted son, R, working too hard but trying to balance his life with a little fun.
D who keeps me laughing as she lives her life loving her hubby, daughters, grandkids and many pets, hopefully in that order. L who is growing in her faith as she takes the bull by the horns and gets her house, literal and figurative, in order!
CL working away and keeping her mama safe and happy as they both serve Him faithfully.
Optimistic A who kept me riveted with her stories leading up to her wedding and pregnancy.
L, my dear sister separated from birth, sharing her beautiful photography and life on a ranch.
D, another sister who showed me how one little tree can tell a story.
J, persevering no matter what life throws her way and convincing me that I just might have some beauty in me!
R, working to fight a government he finds tyranical.
A, a man who fights his anger and protects his family.
L, a man of God who preaches truth unashamedly.
A, waiting to go home after faithfully following her hubby.
S, another mom gone back to school as she inspires me to think about running again.
C, wonder woman, building her body as she nurtures her boys!
S, the chronicler, traveling and dancing as she keeps her girls and honey supplied with gourmet meals.
L, the hipster, whose are hangs in my home.
A, a sweet mom having fun with her girls, taking pictures to chronicle their antics.
M, another sister separated from birth living far away from me where she teaches and grows her family taking them on wonderful adventures!
J, who is hardly around but can get me to chuckle no matter what.
D, a fellow gram who loves her challenged grandchild so much it hurt and who supports her daughter no matter what.
S, across the pond, too, another gram who has the heart of a poet.

I know there are more and I hope you will forgive me if I have left you out. The Holy Spirit knows and sends prayers for all for me.

Much love, g

How could I forget my partner in crime, J! We've never met but we have so much in common including fms.

The Spoon Theory

2010-07-08T20:54:00.003-04:00

This was sent to me via email and really hits the nail on the head. Just because a person doesn't show overt symptoms dosn't mean they aren't hurting. Let me know what you think.

The Spoon Theory
by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com
My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?
I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.
As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.
At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.
I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.
Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.
She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?
I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.
I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.
I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.
We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.
When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.
I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”
Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.
After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”
Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.
© Christine Miserandino

What a Difference Four Years Makes

2010-06-24T19:41:00.003-04:00

Yippers; I have been blogging for four years now. Seems longer somehow.

Four years ago I was still in my 40's and maybe twenty pounds thinner, Isabella wasn't yet a year old and the Boy was still in high school.

We have been through rehab, an autism diagnosis and numerous dramas with our children til I thought I would scream.

We have been through numerous medical emergencies with Himself's parents and lost one of them just a couple of months ago.

We almost lost our house.

We have given and received love from all four of our parents, our children and our wonderful grandchild.

We have seen a little girl who screamed and spoke gibberish become a pretty well behaved child who speaks fairly well and is the happiest person we know. Progress has been fairly steady (not so common in our world of ASD's) and we anticipate even greater things.

We have seen our son keep a job for nearly two years with a company that is Fortune 1oo for best places to work.

I have gained freedom from demons in my life that held me captive since childhood and recognize that God loves me beyond anything I can imagine.

I have met, in person and by phone, several of my blogging buddies and been blessed by them.

We didn't lose our house.

God is good.

Thanks for sticking by me.

Success is Sweet

2010-05-29T20:41:00.001-04:00

The Walk for Autism Speaks was a resounding success. Over 4000 people showed up and we are nearing the monetary goal set by our chapter. I was so proud of our team. Two people didn't show up for our team due to illness but two other adults and two children took their place unexpectedly!

Recently, I read that, in the future not so distant future, autism will be the health care issue to be more concerned about than elder care when it comes to finances. It's reported that every 20 minutes another child is diagnosed. Sounds like a pandemic to me because the autism rates are consistent around the world.

Himself and his fellow behavior detection officers at the airport were given training having to do with recognizing autistic behavior as opposed to someone just being obnoxious or mentally unstable, e.g. someone exhibiting echolalia. This type of training is taking place in police departments in some areas, too. It is wonderful to see!

Isabella looks at me and asks, "Do you love me?" Where that came from I will never know. I'll bet you know the answer! She is my heart.

Thank you for caring so much, dear ones. Bless you all.

A Walk in the Park

2010-05-22T19:49:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow, we walk 1.3 miles to cap off a time of fundraising. My team and I have collected over two thousand dollars for the organization Autism Speaks which raises awareness, funds research and assists families in this "club" we belong to.

Did we choose autism? No. Do we want a cure? I do, some don't. We have a wonderful child in our lives who just happens to have autism. She sometimes makes gains in her journey bringing her more and more into this world and we see our girl's inner self emerge more. She is fun and happy and a joy in our lives.

Other families have no idea if their children are happy or if they know love. They seem to be far, far away in another world. It is for these children and for their loved ones, as much if not more than for our own, that we collect and walk and pray.

When autism speaks, are we able to listen? Sometimes only with our hearts.

New Routine?

2010-05-13T15:39:00.003-04:00

Being someone who doesn't like change all that much, the fact that I have been thinking that I need a change in routine is a bit odd. It's not that my life isn't fulfilling because it is. It would be nice, though, to have some choices.

One choice I would make would be to be fibromyalgia free for a while. Usually, I don't even notice the pain I live with daily. It is just part of my life and I accept it. However, when I have a night like last night, where the pain woke me so often, well, it would be nice to sleep uninterrupted. Also, I would like to be able to make plans without having alternatives planned just in case the fms flares up.

Another choice would be to have the concentration to go back to school or hold down a job. FMS works havoc on one's concentration. Just the thought of going back to work causes anxiety deep within me.

I know that every school day I need to be available to pick up Isabella at 2:30. Do I have a choice in this? I could refuse but who would do it? Today, it would have been lovely to take a nap to make up for last night's lost sleep. Yet, here I sit, with The Little Mermaid on for the fifth time in three days.

A friend recently wondered out loud what her life would have been like had she taken the path she originally planned. We won't ever find out, will we? This is not the life I planned either. However, we are where we are and can either dwell on the past in times of doubt or press on and make the best of where our choices have led us.

Sometimes overwhelmed but always blessed. I suppose that sums up my life right now. That's not too bad, right?

Daybook

2010-04-22T17:09:00.004-04:00

Thanks to Peggy at: http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Outside my window...the beauty of spring assaults my senses.

I am thinking... how can such beauty be such a thorn to my existence (allergies)

I am thankful for...the fisherman who caught the dinner we just ate.

I am wearing...my uniform of jeans.

I am remembering...the music of my youth.

I am going...to try to have dinner ready for three o'clock daily.

I am currently reading...the latest Robert Crais novel.

I am hoping...to use my restaurant discount tickets soon.

On my mind...the mistakes my children make.

Noticing that...Bells has such a great vocabulary now!

Pondering these words..."Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say "Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

From the kitchen...freshly caught striped bass, leftover rice and beans and a green salad.

Around the house...the little one eating her pasta, Himself on the computer and the breeze through the open windows.

One of my favorite things...going to visit my niece and her babies while she cuts and colors my friend's and my hair!

What's in your daybook today?

Television: Liberator, Captor or Time Vampire

2010-04-13T22:58:00.000-04:00

The dvr (digital video recorder) is a blessing and a bane. Before we had one, we missed shows
because they were on at the same time another favorite show was on or because it was on too
late. We would hope to catch the missed show on summer reruns.

Now, we can record two shows at a time whilst watching a recorded show. Isabella's favorite
shows are always on tap and, I must admit, we do use them way too much. Let's blame it on
lack of energy to engage in more constructive activities.

Well, our dvr has been rather persnickety lately. Let's just say it makes watching
television "interesting." Therefore, we got a new one delivered and will be setting it up
tomorrow. Problem is we can't transfer the recorded shows to the new dvr so I stayed up way to late to watch my recorded programs!

I know that there is so much more I could be doing. Reading would be a great option.
Cleaning. Catching up on correspondence - yea, right. But here I sit fast forwarding
through commercials and seeing what Jack Bauer will do next to save the US of A.

What DO people with low energy do without tv? There are things I need to do for the Autism Speaks walk. It is more than a month away but will be here before I know it. I could be researching things to do with Isabella instead of letting her watch "Little Bear" until she can script whole shows.

My house hasn't had a good dusting in so long that I could probably sculpt small, furry creatures on any flat surface. Maybe I exaggerate but I really need to do some deep cleaning. Exercise. Oh, how I need exercise.

Truth is, tv is my down time. All day long I try to keep up with what needs to be done. So much doesn't get done because of my low energy but we keep it together somehow. I keep up with the latest announcements from Autism Speaks on facebook and read blogs written by people living with autism. One is actually written by someone WITH autism. This is a form of education.

Maybe I will try to leave the tv off during the day. Tomorrow. Or maybe the next day.
Hope you are keeping busy in a way that keeps you smiling, g

Our Guy Sal

2010-04-03T22:12:00.001-04:00

I wrote this nearly four years ago and decided to rerun it as my father-in-law died today.

My Guy Sal
I am having trouble sleeping so I thought I would begin to tell you about some colorful people in my extended family starting with my father-in-law.

Sal is 91 years of age and was the first born of Italian immigrants. His mother had suffered several miscarriages before his birth and adopted a daughter. He was raised to be, as we call it in the greater NYC area, an IAP (Italian American Prince). He was followed by a brother a number of years later.

As a young man, he was a great athlete and a man about town. From what I hear, he left a trail of broken hearts. Then he met Helen whom he married seven months later. He owned a taxi and that was their only means of support.

With the cab business faltering, Sal was able to secure a job with Metromedia television as a cameraman. Remember Soupy Sales? On his show, he would talk to Uncle Sal -yup, that was my f-i-l. I believe many of the shows he was involved with were local to the NY area such as Sonny Fox, Wonderama, Sandy Becker, Bishop Sheen and Romper Room.

The show that all of you probably know, though, is The Honeymooners. He tells us stories of how Jackie Gleason never studied a script and the rest of the cast had to play off of his ad libbing!

Yankee fans, anyone? Yes, Sal was a cameraman for the live action of Yankee baseball and would, at times, be in the dug out (Joe DiMaggio was a jerk).

My favorite story was when Madeline Murray O'Hare was a guest on Bishop Sheen's live show. Remember her? The woman who took prayer out of school and started an atheist's society. Well, leave it to Sal. When she started spouting her anti-God rhetoric - I remind you this was live television - Sal started yelling, "You're gonna burn in hell!" He was rushed off the set and didn't lose his job because, well, those were different times. Besides, the bishop liked him.

Unfortunately, Sal had to do alot of shift work so he wasn't around for alot of his four children's day to day activities. However, they all love him and he loves them.

Eventually, Sal became a floor manager and then worked alone in the studio at night when things became automated. Helen convinced him to retire because she was afraid of his being alone.

Sal has had three major cancer surgeries (never needing chemo or radiation treatments), open heart surgery (the doctor never thought he would be alive the next day) and various other surgeries and conditions including mild Alzheimer's. God has blessed him with a miraculous ability to heal quickly. It takes two full years to recover from open heart and he recovered in nine months or so. I believe God gave him this ability to heal quickly to save my m-i-l from going insane!!

As he didn't have the time with his kids and grandkids to fully enjoy them, he dotes on his only greatgrandchild, my granddaughter, Isabella. We truly believe that one of the reasons he is alive today is because of that little girl. If he isn't with her, he is talking about her. He has to be the one to feed her her bottle. When we are leaving their house, he tells her how much he is going to miss her and tries to lay the guilt to get us to come back soon!

We haven't always gotten along but, after a big blow out between the two of us about seven years ago, he thinks I am the cat's meow. He is still a bit spoiled but has mellowed with age.

Yup, I love my father-in-law, Sal.

Blessings, g

Via Dolorosa

2010-04-02T19:13:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6dwOX6N_Tk

Down the Vía Dolorosa in Jerusalem that day
The soldiers tried to clear the narrow street
But the crowd pressed in to see
The Man condemned to die on Calvary
He was bleeding from a beating, there were stripes upon His back
And He wore a crown of thorns upon His head
And He bore with every step
The scorn of those who cried out for His death
Down the Vía Dolorosa called the way of suffering
Like a lamb came the Messiah, Christ the King,
But He chose to walk that road out of
His love for you and me.
Down the Via Dolorosa, all the way to Calvary.
Por la Vía Dolorosa, triste día en Jerusalém
Los soldados le abrían paso a Jesús.
Más la gente se acercaba,
Para ver al que llevaba aquella cruz.
Por la Vía Dolorosa, que es la via del dolor
Como oveja vino Cristo, Rey y Señor,
Y fue Él quien quiso ir por su amor por ti y por mí.
Por la Vía Dolorosa al Calvario y a morir.
The blood that would cleanse the souls of all men
Made its way through the heart of Jerusalem.
Down the Vía Dolorosa called the way of suffering
Like a lamb came the Messiah, Christ the King
But He chose to walk that road out of His love for you and me
Down the Vía Dolorosa, all the way to Calvary.

My God, My Brother, My King. Thank you Jesus for all you gave and still give.

Back in the Saddle

2010-03-27T21:19:00.004-04:00

I am going to do my best to get back into the swing of blogging. Other on line activities have taken me away from my first love and I long to type more than one sentence at a time!

Recently, we had the yearly IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting at Isabella's school. It took a while for my daughter and me to understand that the system is taking away services while telling us how well Bells is doing. "Your child is doing well so we are going to reduce her time in school and take away her summer program." Huh? If it is working why change it? Bottom line, let's save money.

Budget cutting measures are made by people who aren't in the trenches. If they met these wonderful children would they be as quick to pull the rug out from under them? If they were to look into the eyes of the parents who are exhausted from the daily care of special needs children and from working full-time to put food on their tables could they justify the measures they are taking?

More and more I see the need for groups like Autism Speaks and P.O.A.C. which are on the front lines of defending the rights children on the autism spectrum. When I reached out, I was given information to help my daughter fight this I.E.P. and insist on getting Bells the services that are helping her to flourish.

On May 23rd, team Isabella will be walking for Autism Speaks. We hope to raise $1000 to help raise awareness of autism, education and research for a cure. If you wish to join us let me know! If you want to donate, great. What I ask for most is your support and encouragement for myself and any other families with members on the spectrum. Learn about autism. Reach out; give them a break if you are so inclined.

Awareness and education; our greatest weapons and our greatest defenses.

blessings from the trenches, gail

Ugh

2010-03-12T20:57:00.004-05:00

I had just about completed typing out an entry I had been working on in my head when it disappeared. I had even saved it to draft halfway through but it is gone!

When I get up the strength to rewrite it (my fibromyalgia has me sleeping a lot), I will share with you what is on my mind. In the meantime, thanks to The Simple Woman's Day Book for the following questions:

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...rain to bring out the crocuses, daffodils and tulips just waiting to erupt into spring song

I am thinking...that I hope I get a restful night's sleep so I can be a good overnight guest to our friends

I am thankful for...people from the autism family who reached out to me today when I expressed a problem with the school system Isabella is in.

From the kitchen...dishes washed, dishwasher emptied, floor needing washing

I am wearing...pajamas and fuzzy purple slipper socks

I am creating...a ruckus for the school system if they continue to try to take away services from my precious girl

I am going...to stay with friends at the shore just to get some couple time together

I am reading...my Bible - been too tired to start a new book

I am hoping...to get throught this bought of fms so I can get to work

I am hearing...a rumbling in this country that is going to destroy it and/or bring revival

Around the house...so much to do

One of my favorite things...a nice cup of decaf coffee when the mood strikesA few plans for the rest of the week: get moving!

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...Isn't this pretty?!
Have a wonderful weekend, all. You bless me. g

Different, Not Less

2010-02-06T23:08:00.001-05:00

As a rule, I don't cry. Well, maybe at the end of It's a Wonderful Life at the line, "To my big brother George; the richest man in town!"

However, tonight I cried like a baby. Himself and I watched the movie Temple Grandin on HBO. Claire Danes performance as the title character was brilliant.

Temple Grandin is a woman with autism. She didn't talk until she was four years old. Now in her early sixties, she graduated college, earned a Master's degree and has a PhD. She is a highly respected scientist and advocate for autism.

Why was I crying? Because the sky's the limit for my Isabella! She may never be a scientist or have a PhD but, although I have always had hope for her, this movie gave me even more. We don't know what is going on in Bells' mind; how she processes information. Hopefully, like Dr. Grandin, she will be able to tell us one day.

Don't give up! As Dr. Grandin said, people with autism are different, not less.

Thank you, HBO.

With faith and hope, g

A Dizzy Day Entry

2010-02-02T17:06:00.005-05:00

Have a bit of vertigo so...

Thank you, Peggy.

FOR TODAY... from gail's Daybook

Outside my window...a chilly February day

I am thinking...I'm so glad I don't have nausea with this bout of vertigo I am experiencing!

I am thankful for...the little girl who is sitting beside me keeping me company

I am wearing...jeans, orange top

I am remembering...my room mate from one summer of college

I am going...to pick up something from a freecycler for my niece tomorrow if I can drive

I am currently reading...The Apostle by Brad Thor

I am hoping...to get a lot of sponsors for our Autism Speaks walk in May

On my mind...using the Lent timeline to do something about weight loss

Noticing that...I don't recognize myself in the mirror any more

Pondering these words..."I haven't a clue how my story will end, but that's alright. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, that's when you discover the stars. Quote by Nancy Willard..(thank you, Lisa)

From the kitchen...a defrosted chicken and vegetables waiting to be made into soup which will have to wait until tomorrow

Around the house...clean laundry eveywhere needing to be put away

One of my favorite things~a little girl's warmth as she leans on me

I really want to keep up with my blog so, if it takes using something like the daybook, so be it.

Be well, g

Simple Woman's Day Journal

2010-01-25T15:26:00.002-05:00

January 25
Simple Woman's Day Book
From blogspot.com

The Simple Woman's Daybook~January 25th Edition

Outside my window...a very wet day

I am thinking...the lie down I just had is doing me a lot of good

I am thankful for... my comforts

I am wearing... a brown 3/4 length sleeve top and blue denim jeans

I am remembering...my grade school years

I am going... to have my hair done tomorrow and play with my great niece and nephew

I am currently reading... back issues of my one magazine subscription

I am hoping... to see resolution to Isabella's school situation

On my mind... how to get some things off my mind

Noticing that...Bells answered my question about what she did in school today

Pondering these words..."whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things."

From the kitchen... a cold stove that needs my imagination and heating up

Around the house... attention is needed

One of my favorite things~ seeing progress in Isabella

Hoping you all have a wonderful week, g

One Big Family

2010-01-14T11:03:00.001-05:00

Isabella didn't want to go to school this morning. This is not a common occurrence so I played it down by not mentioning it for a while.

When it was time to get dressed, she fought me a bit as she loves her bathrobe and doesn't want to take it off. Slippers are big in her world, too. Once it was time to go, all was well with the world...

...until it was time to go into the classroom. Blessedly, the pre-school autism class has its own outside entrance. Bells stood there not going to go win. Her teacher said, "Don't you want to see your friend, L?" In she went!

Next, M didn't want to go in. "Don't you want to play with the train, M?" asked one of the wonderful aides. "Train!" he repeated as he ran into the classroom with a big smile on his face.

M's dad and I smiled broadly at how his son and my granddaughter responded so well. His son had barely any speech before he started school and Isabella had little discernible speech. We rejoice together in the progress of our beloved "special" ones.

The more I read the comments of parents and loved ones of people with autism the greater a bond I feel with them. No one else understands our hopes and fears; our heartbreak and joys; our feelings of failure and of triumph. It is a kinship.

I do believe that very few of us would refuse a cure for autism. Some might but I know I would jump at it if it wasn't dangerous to my Isabella. Would I love her more? How could I. Would I love her less? I don't believe that could ever happen.

I still laugh nearly every day I am with Bells. We are blessed that she is not inside of herself all of the time but able to take part in every day tasks such as "helping" me in the kitchen and picking up after herself.

What would my life be like without her? I don't ever want to find out. Thank you God for my little Boo.

Thankful Thursday

2010-01-08T12:36:00.002-05:00

January 07
Thankful Thursday

In following dear Meg's example, here are things I am thankful for:

a roof over my head

clothing on my back

food in my belly

health in my family

progress in Isabella's cognition

cars running well

chocolate being healthy

parents being alive and well

God in me

Can you add to this?

Just Don't Know

2010-01-05T19:47:00.002-05:00

Just don't know what to make of what has been going on around here. Wisdom and discernment are needed and I am waiting upon the Lord to guide me.

As I am sure I have mentioned in the past, being a parent lasts a lifetime. Doesn't matter what your child's age is you still are happy when they are happy and sad when they are sad.

I've been blessed to quite often be able to learn from other people's mistakes. Don't get me wrong; I have made some of the stupidest mistakes in the past. What I am saying is that, had people not kept their counsel before I jumped in I might not have taken the plunges that brought me such pain. Telling me afterwards did no good.

Now I find myself weighing my words with my children; especially my daughter. I do speak up but it falls on deaf ears - or so I think. So much unnecessary pain. It hurts me.

Having a grandchild changes how you act toward your grown child, too. Her welfare needs to come first and, if I don't think it is, I want to jump right in. Tact is much more difficult.

Ugh. I am so happy I have prayer to help me through. I don't think I'd be alive without my faith. I'm not all that strong without God's hand holding me up.

Have you ever felt like giving up and running away? Oh, yes. I am blessed that I have a couple of places to go overnight if I feel I am going to burst.

If you have a child or children and you knew then what you know now would you have still had them? I love my children so much. That being said, there is only one way to get grandchildren...

Do you realize that those "perfect" families you see all around you aren't? Perfect, that is. Took me a while but yes, I realize it. I have found that, after getting to know them, I am happy to come home to what I live with.

Are you sick of holiday sweets yet? Just when I think I am I get a yen...

In saying the new year, are you saying "twenty-ten" or 'two thousand ten?" I want to say the latter but am afraid of being lazy and saying the former. I have a keen sense of being appropriate. heavy sigh

Be well, gail

Miracles and Such

2009-12-20T20:51:00.002-05:00

There are skeptics among us but I believe in miracles.

This afternoon I sent out a prayer request to heal my migraine and it is gone. I put my hands on my niece's swollen, nine months pregnant baby belly and felt my new great nephew moving within her. At one of my Tuesday night meetings (group of women from my church), a members hands got hot and she touched several of us and we were all healed by the next day of what was ailing us (I was healed within an hour or so).

The greatest miracle of all that I have experienced was that God took a piece of Himself, came to earth and became human so that I might never be able to say, "Lord, you just don't understand." Not only that, He became sin whilst on the cross so that we could have a relationship with God and spend eternity with Him.

Can it get any better than that?

I no longer try to picture what heaven is like. There is no way my limited mind could ever do it justice. I tell my children what my mother told me: when you get there, whatever makes you happiest is what heaven will be like. As a child, I used to imagine unlimited boxes of Whitman samplers (chocolates). Himself hopes for reenactments of the miracles in the Bible like the parting of the Red Sea. Now, I am waiting in anticipation for when I join my Lord and savior. I know with everything in me that no joy on earth can compare.

In a few days, we will be celebrating the birth of that bit of God sent to earth. Technically speaking, shepherds don't watch over flocks in December so the actual date is up in the air. Does it really matter when Jesus Christ was born? I don't think so. All that matters was that He WAS born and why. Born to die that I may live.

My greatest desire is that all I know would come to know Jesus for their own. Sometimes I ache with this desire.

May the honoring of God by remembering Who He gave us be of the utmost importance in your life this week and always.

blessing, joy and peace, g

TV Tales and Such

2009-12-12T22:08:00.002-05:00

I watch too much television. I use the tv as a babysitter for Bells too much of the time. Mom used to call it the "idiot box" and I believe a majority of the households in America use it as their main form of entertainment.

Pass through any neighborhood at night and, if a window isn't covered, you might see flashing forms from whatever is being watched. As I type this, CSI is playing from the dvr. Himself still likes it but I am kind of bored by it and grossed out by how graphic, gory and filled with gratuitous sex it is.

HOWEVER, it does serve a good purpose, too. I have learned quite a bit of decent knowledge from some of my shows. For instance, if someone is dying slowly and no one can figure it out, test for heavy metal poisoning. Arsenic will be detected that way but the test is rarely given making it the choice of unhappy spouses who want out. Himself thinks I am so smart when I can figure that kind of thing out. hmmm...

Like the internet, it is great and horrible.

Enough of that. Less than two weeks before Christmas. I have never done Santa with my kids but The Girl is doing it with Isabella who still doesn't get it. I asked The Boy if it ever bothered him that I didn't do Santa and he said no. The Girl, however, had her father telling her Santa was real and she tried to make me believe in him.

In the spirit of decoration, I have polished my nails a deep green. Sally's Beauty Supply sells their own brand of nail polish in small bottles for .99! I love that! You don't have to commit to a color you paid $8 for.

Have I mentioned that my children are making me crazy? I have to remember that we have raised them and they are adults. They are now responsible for themselves and no longer require our parenting. We have to sit back and pray whilst they make their mistakes and have their victories. It is so hard. If they would only listen we could keep them from hurting so badly. ugh Letting God be God is hard but they belong to Him, not us.

Are you ready for Christmas? Depends on what you mean by ready. We buy very few gifts and I haven't baked much for years. The tree is trimmed and a few decorations are up.

Have a favorite Christmas cookie? Hard to choose. I like my coconut macaroons drizzled with chocolate and oatmeal lace cookies sandwiched with chocolate. Gingerbread cookies with chocolate on them. Am I seeing a pattern here?

Where will you be on Christmas eve and or day? Christmas eve, my sister's house with my side of the family. Christmas day, the in-laws'.

Egg nog? A little bit. I like it but it is sooo fattening.

What are you watching on tv these days? I'm enjoying the Home & Garden channel a lot especially the Canadian shows like Income Property and The Unsellables. Also, Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel.

Here's hoping that your "days are merry and bright and that all your Christmases are white" (at least in your dreams!).

blessings, g

Blogging

2009-12-03T11:42:00.002-05:00

Looking back over the last few years I see that blogging has enmeshed itself in the very fiber of my life. Although I have not spent much time here of late, the effects are in my life every day.

It seems that it would be unrealistic to call someone a "friend" if you have not really met. However, I have met a few of you in person and it has solidified our relationships. A few others I have spoken with by phone and other forms of communication and we have stood by one another through good times and rough times.

When I post new pictures of Isabella, I get the same reactions here that I get from my friends and family I "see" in person. Every time we conquer a battle for Bells' education or when she makes progress, I have a virtual cheering section.

If I am sick or sad, I get encouragement and prayers. When you are sick or need encouragement, I deem it an honor to be able to pray for you and send you a bit of "g" wisom and cheer!

What I am saying is I appreciate you and count you a blessing in my life! Thank you for being here.

Let's do a falderal on Thursday to change things up:

How long have you been blogging: About three and a half years now.

Why did you start? I'm not really sure. I enjoyed reading other people's blogs and I enjoy writing so it seemed natural to start.

Have you met anyone from blogland in person? Yes. I have met Lols and Texas Mammie and they are as wonderful in person as they are here!

What has slowed you down in blogworld, if, indeed, you have slowed down? If you haven't slowed down, what has kept you going? I must confess that facebook is one culprit but mostly it is the changes spaces has made. We now have to work harder to see what is going on with our friends.

How in the world are you? I am pretty well, thank you very much. We are experiencing weird weather and it is making a mess of our sinuses but our health is pretty good.

God bless all of you, g

Futile to Fight Falderal

2009-11-20T20:32:00.003-05:00

The girls have finally moved back home. It was a quick, easy move although the getting organized will probably start tomorrow. Correction: better start tomorrow.

What is futile is to fight wanting a quiet house for any length of time. As a, matter of fact, we had to pick up Bells from school yesterday with a cough and low fever. She can not return until we have a doctor's note. Even a slight fever gives the schools such fear now. It is a shame but I suppose it is necessary.

What is also futile is to depend on others to figure out the right answers for a child like Isabella. After waiting nine months for an appointment, I accompanied The Girl and Bells to see a developmental pediatrician. Although we know she has autism, we had to get a formal diagnosis. The nurse practitioner took a detailed history and then the doctor came in. She was read the history and didn't add much of anything. When asked about testing for deficiencies or about diet she said she doesn't do any of that because it isn't "scientifically proven." See you in six months.

Hmmm...

Not one suggestion; not one how do you do. All we got was a diagnosis. Now I understand why the moms in Bells' school told us to use another doctor; live and learn. However, the nurse practitioner and doctor both agreed that Bells has a very good chance of leading a "normal" life some day in the future.

We have expected progress not further problems. However, our girl has started to hit herself on occasion. It has brought The Girl to tears. It seems to be like a reflex rather than a behavior she thinks about. Something for us to research.

On a lighter note, we celebrated Isabella's 4th birthday last weekend. Can you believe she is four years old? She loved being sung to at the several celebrations she had. Balloons? She brings them everywhere with her! The Girl has asked me to not get any more. Himself and I got her a set of instruments - percussion instruments - drum, maracas, castinets, bells! Typical grandparent present but not when the grandchild lives with you. That kind of noise doesn't bother me. High pitched noises do like whistles.

Are there any noises that bother you? High-pitched whistles, nails on a chalkboard and utensils scraping a plate.

Have there been any battles you have had to fight for your children? Many times. Getting my children classified with learning disabilities took my figuring it out before the system did. I will go into detail if you wish.

Do you like chai? Eww. I figured out that it has cloves in it and I have a story about cloves I might share some time that explains why I hate it.

Plans for Thanksgiving? I know my Canadian friends have already celebrated and my international friends might not celebrate. We are actually staying home this year. So many years going to the in-laws and we are tired of seeing Himself's mom exhaust herself. We will go there for dessert.

Is this going to be a good holiday season? If it KILLS me I will enjoy myself! Those of you who have been with me for a while know I don't like this time of year. I am going to try to be a model of Christmas cheer!

Be well, my friends. I pray that all is well. g

Thank You Veterans

2009-11-11T08:31:00.000-05:00

Thank you to all who served in war and in peace time.

Thanks to Himself; Viet Nam,

Brothers-in-law; Viet Nam years (non-combat)

Dad; Korea

Granddad; WWII

Richard W.; WWII

All my friends on spaces and their families who serve(d) alongside them.

Thank you for serving so that I could raise my family in freedom and peace.

Obedience No Matter What

2009-11-08T21:37:00.003-05:00

I'm weary of finding f words to title the falderal so I am taking a breather from thinking too hard!

It is so hard, sometimes, to obey God's word. It says to honor our authorities because He put them there. Reading some other blogs, I see a lot of anger towards our current administration over the horrible events at Fort Hood this past week. Some say we are less safe than we were before 9/11.

To say that the average American knows what is really going on in our country is to live in a dream world. We don't know and, truth be told, don't want or need to know all that happens to keep us safe. We do, though, need to know that our brave men and women who serve our country can have a reasonable expectation of safety on a military post!

If a military person speaks out against the military do they still belong there? Is there any room for insurrection within the ranks? Amongst civilians, yes. Amongst the military? No. There needs to be obedience unless an order goes against the good.

As much as I want to rail against the administration and all I disagree with, it is my duty to pray for them, for the military and for my country. I must trust that God has a plan for my life and part of it is to live here in the United States.

I am not convinced that my beloved country will ever be God fearing again. As a matter of fact, I see it going progressively downhill. I hope and pray that I am wrong. Whatever happens, though, will not be a surpise to God.

Let us stand firm no matter what is tossed our way.

Given the opportunity, would you rather live in a country other than the one you live in now? No. I have thought about it but can't think of one my family and I would be better off in.

Are you frustrated with your government? Very much so. No matter how often I contact my representative and senators I get the same thanks but no thanks response.

Do you think you would consider running for office? I don't see it in my future but I don't pretend to know the future.

Do you have a favorite song right now? I am very fond of Revelation Song by Phillips, Craig and Dean. It is so touching and true.

How is your life lately? Really good. I am so blessed and I choose to count my blessing rather than wallow in pity over what could be.

Himself and I celebrated 22 years of marriage this past week. We enjoyed a meal of sushi at one of our favorite restaurants and are glad for what God has blessed us with.

Our Isabella is coming into overt consciousness of this world a bit more lately. She is responding to our questions with appropriate and correct answers. It is soooo exciting!

Bless you this week and always, g

Fairly Fun Falderal

2009-10-31T15:35:00.003-04:00

As you may or may not recall, Isabella calls me Booboo. As of today, I am her class Booboo! My friend, M, didn't think it was fair that Bells' class, which her son is in, didn't have a class parent so she volunteered. Well, where M goes g goes! I was so happy to be a part of their halloween party. (I guess the parent association didn't think kids with autism needed to have class parents. They never met M!)The Dread Pirate Bella

Personally, I don't like halloween. It's darkness disturbs my soul. People are always telling me to lighten up and get into the spirit of it. Problem is the "spirit" of it is not the spirit of God. If it is not the Spirit of God the only thing left is an ugly spirit; the spirit of darkness.

If anyone rings our bell I will hand out the bags of pretzels we bought and will be properly appreciative of the creativity involved in dressing the children up. I will not, however, get into the "spirit" of this day we call halloween.

Do you 'celebrate' halloween? See above.

Do you hand out treats? Last year and this year we decided to hand out bags of pretzels to be a little less sugary. Some years I was a grinch and didn't have anything but I realized I wasn't being a light to people.

Did you get the "Dread Pirate" reference I made? Have you ever seen Princess Bride? You would have to have to get the reference!

What is your favorite holiday? Any day I decide to have family over just because. I am not a big fan of "calendar" holidays. They stress us all out too much.

Anyone want to plan to not be around for the holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas) with me? We can make plans!

Here's hoping all is well with you. Let me know about customs where you are. g

Finally...

2009-10-24T19:41:00.010-04:00

...a chance to breathe.

My trip to see my brother and his bride was great. Not only did I get to spend time with them and their wonder pup, Memphis Belle,

I also got to spend time with my cousin, his bride

and their daughter and her family.

As an extra treat, I got to spend time with Dana Texas Mammie who is a delight!

I also learned how to shoot a rifle - a special kind of rifle:

Locked and loaded!

All too soon the trip was over but I got to come home to a special little girl who owns my heart and my loving family. Life is good.

Of course I needed to sleep a lot to get over all the excitement. The great Atlantic northeast is perfect for a nap with its grey skies and rain. I think I just might take advantage of it.

blessings to all, g

Freaky Friday Falderal

2009-10-09T21:09:00.003-04:00

Freaky Friday Falderal

Friday evening and, as I sit here typing this, the Yankee/Twins playoff game is on and I am scratching my head over the news of this day.

Firstly, I see that Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. Huh? The candidates were chosen two weeks after he was sworn in. Why did he win this? Have his followers finally convinced enough people that he is the messiah? I am confused.

Then I read in the paper that my state is starting a registry for autistic people. It seems we already have registries for craniofacial problems, cardiac problems and others. It looks to me that we are being prepared for a healthcare holocaust! It is supposed to be anoymously reported by healthcare professionals. Anonymous. Right. I sense that this is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Beware when the government comes saying it is doing something to help you. Big Brother is watching.

Heard a specialist in infection and disease control say he wouldn't take or allow the swine flu vaccine to be given to his children. He said it has too many additives in it like a disinfectant that has been linked to causing autism in children with mitochondrial defects. Hellooooo! Let's use our sense, people.

My darling Isabella has a stomach something. Poor thing was crying in pain and asked me to put a band aid on her tummy. Is that too cute? Poor thing just wanted to go to sleep and woke up in pain and started throwing up. My poor baby.

Have you ever read George Orwell's 1984? Did/does it effect the way you think about government? Actually, I have never read it but know enough about the premise that it has affected my life for a long time. I don't even want EZ Pass in my car but Himself insists on it. Privacy is an illusion.

Did you or are you going to get a flu shot this year? How about the swine flu vaccine? I'm not prone to getting the flu but opted to get the shot because I need to be healthy to care for Bells. Swine flu? Not on your life! It's too new. See above.

What is your idea of an ideal Saturday off? Starting Friday night, staying up as late as I like. Saturday morning sleeping in as long as I like. Then, having a quiet house all to myself for the entire afternoon followed by a nice evening with our bcf's (best couple friends - the couple we hang out with the most).

Read any good books lately? Just finished Kathy*Reichs' latest, "206 Bones." That's how many we have in the human body. It was pretty good. I figured some of it out early on, though. Also, been reading Ecclesiastes in the Bible.

Have any trips coming up? Well, since you ask...I am going to visit my baby brother in Texas next week. I haven't seen him in two and a half years and am going to suck up my fear of flying to see him and his wonderful wife. Hopefully, Dana "Texas Mammie" and I are going to meet up for lunch.

Heard or seen any craziness in the news? Let's hear about it?

blessings, g

Fear I'm Failing Falderal

2009-10-04T19:38:00.002-04:00

October 04
Fear I'm Failing Falderal

I hate not keeping up with the falderal. By the time Friday rolls around, I am beat. I'm trying!

Around here, life is rarely boring. We may not be the most active family but our lives are full. My calendar used to have a lot of empty spaces but they are filling up quickly these days.

We need to be careful, though, of busyness. We were reminded in this morning's sermon that busyness can keep us from the truly important things in life like spending time with God and reading his word.

Busyness takes form in many ways. Those with young families find themselves running the children to this, that and the other thing after having a full day working at home or on site. Watching a lot of tv, my vice, keeps me "busy" when there is much else I can be doing. Fantasy football keeps my son glued to the tv and his laptop all Sunday. Web browsing, texting, shopping; all ways to keep busy.

What's keeping you busy today? My busyness today in particular was taking a nap! I am here on my netbook and football is on.

Do you allow too much busyness in your life? Allow? When it comes to tv and the computer, yes. Taking care of Isabella as much as I do is a blessing but not something I "choose" to do. It would be nice to have some options.

Do you "get" fantasy football? I just explained what I think it is to my son and he said I was right. Yea me!

What would you like to be busier doing? Reading scripture and spending time with God; fruitful time with God. This has taken such a back seat to tv and the computer and it is time to get right again.

What can you give up or cut back on to reach the goal in the last question? I have a habit of turning on the tv shortly after I wake up to see what is going on in the world. That can wait.

How are you? I hope and pray that all is well with and yours. Drop me a comment and let me know, okay? g

Rerun Plus

2009-09-27T21:26:00.000-04:00

A little something from a few years ago:

November 25, 2006
True Colors (Colours for my English Influenced Buds)
Recently, I learned that the colors leaves turn in autumn are the true colors of the leaves. Green is their camouflage for the summer because of a little thing called chlorophyll. (My dictionary is getting a good working out with this post!)

Autumn is my favorite season. The crisp air and the changing leaves. Maybe one of the reasons it is so beautiful is because we are seeing true colors instead of a facade (not to say that the green of summer isn't stunning).

Truth is, everyone wears a facade at least some of the time. Most people wear a mask to keep from getting hurt. Don't you agree? It is my experience that, when I am able to gain the trust of someone and their mask is down, I see such beautiful colors! True colors! When the true colors of a person are evil, I try to be loyal in praying that they will find the Savior so their colors will become vibrantly beautiful. God wishes that all would come to Him and be in communion with Him.

September 27, 2009
I love, love, love autumn; the sights and smells. I wish I could transport those of you who have never experienced this season here.
Himself and I went with friends to their shore house this weekend. It was too windy for the beach so we hung out on the balcony and inside and then went to a fab restaurant for dinner. It's always good to spend time with them.
Sorry for not posting a falderal last week. It completely slipped my mind. This Friday, okay?
Blessings for the week to come, g

Feeling Free Falderal

2009-09-18T19:39:00.003-04:00

September 18

For the last two and a half years (three and a half if you count a false start), I have been working through the book Walls of My Heart by Dr. Bruce Thompson and Barbara Thompson. It is described as "Powerful Keys to Breaking Out and Being Free."

Since I was fifteen years old, I have been in and out of therapy. All those counselors, all those years prepared my for this journey through which I was led by, for the most part, my friend Am. I learned that I had built walls of sadness, insecurity, bitterness, anger and many more negatives around my heart. My experience taught me why I put them there, how to tear them down and how to build new walls which are healthy for me and pleasing to God.

There is so much I want to write but I am hoping that maybe some of you will take this journey. If you have no one here to guide you through it, I hope you will ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. I will be happy to answer questions via e-mails.

The weekend is upon us and it couldn't have come too soon! I'm beat. Isabella is my companion from seven am til school starts at nine and then I pick her up at two thirty. She is with us until six pm. I love her more than anything in this world - still, weekends are good!

Do you have anyone you can talk to about what's on your mind? I am blessed in that area. I have wise friends and a great mom.

Breakfast sausage or bacon? Neither! What are you trying to do, kill me? My cholesterol is high enough. Who thinks up these questions anyway. Besides, I hate the spicing in breakfast sausage.

Do you think about whether or not what you watch or read effects you spiritually? More than ever before. I have learned that a person's brain retains memories so well that, when having brain surgery in the memory portion of the brain, memories and the feelings that went along with them are relived when probed! I must be careful what I put in here.

You can be instantly transported anywhere in the world right now for three hours. Where would you go? As of this moment, I would go to be with my friend V in South Africa to take care of her because she is sick.

Once again, are you ready for some football??? Last Sunday, because we have the NFL channel, we also have a channel called Red Zone. It is five hours of non-commercial football switching from game to game when teams get close to the twenty yard line or further if the other teams are on commercial break. My son and his buddies had a hard time tearing themselves away for potty breaks! Himself and I went to a fair in town for an hour but I enjoyed the games with the guys while reading a book.

Let me know what you are up to, people. Sending blessings your way, g

First Amendment Freedom

2009-09-11T19:48:00.002-04:00

September 11
I Won't Forget
It was a beautiful day much like today. Temperature was around 70 and school had just started again after a long summer break. I had just finished an exercise video and was about to start the treadmill when I turned on the tv. Instead of the regular programming the station was showing a view of the World Trade Center which was expelling billowing, dark gray smoke.

I called Himself at work to see what the buzz was there since he was in the travel industry. They thought it was a small plane gone astray just as one did at the Empire State Building many years ago. While we were talking, a second plane went into the other Tower and I screamed, "OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod! It was then we knew we were being attacked.

After hanging up with Himself, I tried to go on the treadmill. Was it shock? A need for normalcy or routine in my world which had just been turned upside down? I can't tell you but I remember that I couldn't stay on that machine but, instead, sat riveted to the television.

I called my sister and gave her office the lowdown. I called my parents, brother, friends and told those who hadn't heard yet to put on their tv's. What channel, they asked. Any channel.

Thinking about bioterrorism, I went to the nearest supermarket and bought twenty-two gallons of water and two gallons of bleach for purifying water. I then filled up my gas tank and told the Arab attendant to be careful. Next was a stop at my dd's home. She was a mess but I knew that her friends were on their way so I went to The Boy's school.

The Boy was in the lunch room and I explained to him and his friends what was happening as calmly as possible. They didn't seem spooked so I asked my boy if he wanted to stay in school and be brave for his friends. He said yes. As I was leaving, I stopped in at the nurse's office. I told her I didn't know what was the right thing to do. She told me that, yes, I did know. I immediately went back to the lunch room and took my son home.

Himself was not permitted to leave work until three that afternoon. We had to turn off the television despite the fact that I didn't want to. It just wasn't good for our boy to watch this over and over again.

Living close to a very busy airport we are quite used to hearing planes going overhead at any time of the day. One of the most eerie parts of that day was the silence of commuter jet traffic and the roar of military jets and the pulsing of helicopter rotors which occasionally swept by.

We had no idea what was to come next. All we knew was that we were together, God was and is alive and well and that His eye was/is on us.

Truth be told, I don't remember much else about that day. I was helping to care for a friend who was dying of cancer and had to compartmentalize everything to be able to cope. In the following months, I became anorexic (not for the first time), my son graduated from sixth grade, my dear friend died and I went into an eating disorders facility for three weeks to keep from dying myself. However, on September 11, 2002, the trauma hit me big time. I kept expecting the same thing to happen. It didn't, thankfully, but the PTSD Alien Hunter speaks of was and, I believe, is still rampant in these here parts.

On this fifth anniversay, I sit here and wonder when the next attack will occur and if it will happen in the same places. Could my son cope with watching a site in NYC smoking and burning for two months again? I don't care what your political leanings are but I believe this administration has strengthened our security greatly. Our borders are still porous and that is a problem we need to deal with. Whether or not we belong in Iraq will not be discussed on this site and I will immediately delete any posts referring to it.

One of my greatest fears is that we, as a nation, have become complacent. Yes, we have to get on with our lives. However, there are people who complain about taking off their shoes before hopping on a plane and many who no longer fly their flags like we did five years ago. The taxis in NYC are honking their horns loudly again unlike the control they showed for what I believe was months after 9/11.

One good change has remained, though. We say, "I love you," much more freely than we did five years ago. We are much more aware of how fragile and finite our lives are. This is a very good thing.

Fly Old Glory proudly, my friends, and pray for our nation.

Fun, Fatique and Farewells Falderal

2009-09-04T20:57:00.003-04:00

It was quite a week here in gville. I watched Isabella four of five days (I told The Girl to get someone else to watch her on Thursday when I could barely keep my eyes open Wednesday from insomnia and fatigue).

We visited a great park on Monday, the same park on Tuesday with a school chum and his mom and two sisters and a local zoo on Wednesday. Exhausting and fun.

As for farewell, we attended a wake this afternoon. Our bcf's sister-in-law passed after a long illness. Only 69 years old. God rest her soul. She and her husband were sweethearts from the time they were fourteen and fifteen.

Life can sure throw us curve balls. What's the old saying, "We make plans and God laughs?"

We never planned on having a grandchild with autism but here we are. We are blessed that our Bells can communicate for the most part. I have been noticing some behaviors lately that are disheartening but we can address them with her teacher and therapists when school starts next week.

As you all know, we wouldn't trade our Isabella for a neurotypical child. She is who she is and autism is a part of her. Eventually, she will, more than likely, be in a regular classroom. She will probably always have "eccentric" ways about her. Truth be told, it is my own eccentricities that I tend to like best about myself! My buddy, M, says I am definitely on the spectrum! (Her son is in Bells' class and we can kid around like that.)

Do you have any interaction with a person with autism? Well, uh, yea! Bells and now her friend. It is an educational experience nearly every day. Am I happy for the education? Most days.

What do you know more about than you would have chosen to know about? Cancer and autism. I have had more experience with them having to do with people I love than I would ever choose to.

Have you ever gone skydiving? Would you? Are you out of your cotton pickin' mind?!

What would you like to try to do that you haven't done before? Hmmm...why do I ask questions I don't have a ready answer for? How about a missions trip. I like my comfort zone and could use an attitude adjustment.

Is there any such thing as an honest politician? Oh, I hope so.

For my American friends, enjoy your Labor Day weekend. For everyone else, enjoy your regular weekend!

blessings, gail

Feeling Faint Falderal

2009-08-28T16:17:00.005-04:00

Not really. Just very tired. The fms has knocked me for a loop and all I want to do is sleep. It could be much, much worse.

You know how each occupation or lifestyle has its own humor? When I worked in a hospital, the jokes we told there did not translate into the every day world. People thought it morbid. Same thing with ethnic jokes, senior moments, etc.

Talking with one of Isabella's schoolmate's mom's, M, I questioned her about what she thinks is acceptable in the world of people who love someone who has autism. I told her that I almost wrote out the comment, "At least, with her autism, Isabella always has someone to talk to." (see http://conquerautism.com/blog/?tag=scripting) M laughed and agreed that others wouldn't get it. As a matter of fact, they might think it cruel when it is just the statement of a gram who loves her grandchild more than she could ever think it possible to!

There is a site that sells t-shirts such as "Proud Grandparent of an Autistic Granddaughter." Another shirt states, "Autism rocks! And flaps and spins..." Would you be apalled to see that last one? M said that is her favorite! My daughter is afraid to wear that one because she is afraid she might hurt the feelings of one of the other parents at school.

I guess it is a matter of what one is comfortable with and the spirit in which they present it. For some, one of those shirts is the same as the having an autism awareness magnet on their car. Still, maybe I ought to stick with something like this: Or, more importantly, this:

Do you work in a field or have an interest where the humor related to it doesn't translate to the rest of the world? See above.

Other than sleep, how to you get beyond fatigue? Going for a walk might work.

Any plans for the weekend? My greatniece is being dedicated on Sunday and I am attending the party and service. It will be good to have the family together.

Are you sad because summer is waning or are you looking forward to autumn? The only sad part of summer ending for me is the shortened daylight hours. Other than that, bring on the crisp, cool days of autumn!

Sing or hum? Used to be sing all the time but I find I don't know as many words as I do tunes these days so humming it is!

Hoping that all is well in your world, g

Feeling Faint Falderal

2009-08-28T16:17:00.002-04:00

Flitting Around and Fun Falderal

2009-08-21T23:43:00.003-04:00

Ms. Lisbeth pointed out to me that I am getting out a lot more than I used to. Wow. It hadn't hit me but it is absolutely true. Having been agoraphobic in the past this is very big.

Just this week alone:

Saturday - out to dinner with the in-laws
Sunday - wedding
Monday - out for the afternoon with Himself
Tuesday and Wednesday - our friends' townhouse down the Jersey shore
Thursday - watched Isabella and then went out to dinner with friends whom I haven't seen in about twenty years
Friday - watched Isabella and out to lunch with a friend visiting from Australia
Tomorrow - baby shower at a "posh" place

Today, we booked a flight for me to go to Texas to visit my baby bro in October. I hate to fly but really want to see my brother and his wife. And I am going alone! Himself has his yearly, sometimes twice yearly, visits with his navy buddies and sometimes goes out to Colorado with a buddy to visit a childhood friend. This will be my time. Also, my brother is fourteen years younger than I and it is a sister/mom/son kind of relationship. He's a great kid! And his wife is tops in my book because she makes him happy.

Isabella is still making me laugh. Doesn't matter how bad a mood I am in; she can make me laugh. Now that I am trying to come up with an example I can't think of one but I laughed quite a bit these last two days. She is making good progress in her communication skills. I am hearing more complete sentences instead of one or two word statements or questions. Now, if we can only get her potty trained.....

The daylight hours are waning. It is now almost dark at eight in the evening (we are at the eastern end of a time zone). That is the only thing that bothers me about the end of summer. In a sermon a couple of weeks ago, the pastor spoke about the negativity of grumbling. It has helped me keep myself in check so I will not go on about how horrid the heat and humidity have been. I will just mention it. Aren't you so proud of me?

That part about not grumbling can be a real life changer. The more one grumbles the more negative their life. It's always been hard for me to not be negative. I figured that pessimists are rarely disappointed. That may be true but it is a lousy way to live. I'm so glad I have friends who help me to lighten up.

Do you tend to be an optimist or a pessimist? I am turning into someone who is cautiously optimistic. I believe I know what is real and what is not and know not to waste my time obsessing on things I can't change. At least I am learning how to.

How is your self image? It has been horrible for years. However, as I learn to like myself, I am taking steps towards accepting and maybe even liking how I look. It has been difficult looking in the mirror at a person who looks like my gram. Yes, I do look like my gram. However, she was a much loved woman who was beautiful from the inside out. Not a bad thing to aspire to, eh?

What is your clothing style? Can you tell I have am watching What Not To Wear as I type this? A statement they made is really bothering me: you should feel beautiful in everything you wear. I have very little clothing because I am cheap when it comes to buying things for myself. I don't usually feel pretty in what I am wearing. I want to change that one piece of clothing at a time whether I am overweight or not.

Do you pay full retail? No! Maybe that is why I don't dress all that well!

Do you enjoy the Duggar family? Very much so.

I appreciate you, g

Fear, Folly or Fully Functional

2009-08-14T13:36:00.002-04:00

What will become of our "special" children with the new healthcare this administration is trying to pass? Will they be treated in the same way people of "mental incapacity" were treated in Nazi Germany? Will we have to reprise the White Rose Society (http://www.shoaheducation.com/whiterose.html).

The more I read and hear of this new health plan the more frightened I get. Has anyone heard anything about what is in store for our children? There is money that is supposed to be earmarked for autism research. Do we believe it will ever see the light of day?

Our society has lost its respect for life be it the beginning of life or the end of it. Each of us is precious in His sight. Please, keep your eyes and ears open and don't let our elected officials stuff what you don't want down your throat.

Are you a healthy person? For the most part, yes. I rarely get sick.

If you are healthy, what is your secret? Chocolate. No, only kidding. I hardly ever eat it any more because it took over my life. I would have to say it is by the grace of God that I am healthy. I have things to do for Him and I have to be healthy to do them. If I am sick, there is a good reason for it.

Favorite cookie? Chewy lace cookies with chocolate sandwiched between them.

Favorite cake? German Chocolate.

Favorite exercise? Sleeping. Oh, if I had to choose it would be walking.

Stay safe, dear ones. Be vigilant. blessings, gail

Flower Flim-Flam Falderal

2009-08-08T17:29:00.002-04:00

Isabella loves, loves, LOVES flowers! My mother-in-law has a silk arrangement that has been decimated over the last couple of years from her allowing Bells to have one flower after another whenever she visits and asks for it.

When I picked Bells up from school today, she said, "My pink flowler (Bella speak)!" She was beside herself that she had left her flower behind.

We knocked on the door and rang the bell to the school and the psychologist who works with the little ones answered let us in. We found the teacher and found out that, no, Isbella didn't have any flowers. However, the aides and psychologist were all given a bouquet by the teacher. Dr. P, with the teacher's okay, happily gave her bouquet of pink "flowlers" to Isabella who has been carrying them around all day still wrapped in clear plastic!

Are we blessed or what? We are surrounded by lovely people and for that I am grateful. There's so much garbage going on in the world and it is great to be blessed.

Have you been blessed by someone today? Along with what I wrote above, it has been a good day. Isabella has behaved well and is healthy and a short visit to two of our favorite cafe owners was delightful. Also, I know I am prayed for daily and that adds to my blessings.

Is there something you do or try to do on a regular basis to bless other peoples' lives? I try to remember to look cashiers in the eye at the check out and give them a smile and a thank you.

Do you like to swim? Can you swim well? I was a strong swimmer last time I took a dip. As I have mentioned before, I don't like to be wet but learned how to swim at a young age.

Ocean, lake or pool? If I had to choose? Pool; least amount of slimy things.

Ideally, if you could do anything you wanted to do anywhere you wanted to do for the next four days what would it be? I would like to be in a place that feels like home but is in a wooded area. I would have a couple of good books and friends popping in and out at all times of the day and evening and good black and white movies and a blue ray. I would like to sleep soundly for a good nine hours straight and feel refreshed for the first time in 29 years.

However, the reality is that The Girl and Bells are supposed to finally be moving back here this weekend. As she finally has a job, she needs to save enough to move on her own again. The Girl, that is;) I'm not looking forward to it as we have a humble home but we are blessed to be able to keep this house for now at least.

Be blessed, dear ones, g