A Blog Dedicated to...

There are some amazing autism blogs out there. One that I read on a regular basis is Diary of a Mom. Jess has helped me understand my granddaughter in ways I may have never thought of through sharing her insights into her family's journey in Autismville.

Another is Autism in a Word. Jeneil takes us through a journey of hope and faith. She fills my heart and my soul.

I was finally able to get my daughter to read one of Jess' entries and I do believe she is hooked. She suggested I write a blog about autism from a grandparents' perspective. Duh! What does she think I have been doing all these years?! To write about autism exclusively is not something I believe I could do, though. There is no shortage of material but I am not versed enough in the things that would help others the way the other blogs do.

There is not one person who has been following all these years who doesn't know that my Isabella is my heart. She is the source of so much joy and love. We love each other unconditionally and I don't see that changing.

Bogging has taken a back seat since facebook but, once again, I will try to get back into it.

Many blessings to all in the new year. g

Ho, ho, ho - Not

It's that time of the year again. The time when a jolly, old elf dressed in red passes the space/time continuum to visit all little girls and boys around the world leaving them gifts their little hearts have been yearning for.

Not.

This time of year is supposed to be a celebration of God becoming man so that we might never be able to say to God, "You just don't understand!" He became human so that He would become a sacrifice so that we might live with Him forever, sins forgiven.

Every time I see a Santa or a Simpson decoration on a lawn it pierces my heart. When I asked my precious granddaughter what Christmas is and she said it is a time for presents; when I told her it is Jesus' birthday and she was horrified and said, "No!" my soul was screaming out at the lies our children are told!

I will never go against parents' wishes and tell a child that there is no Santa Claus. Indeed, if they have Santa as a "by the way" and have a Christ-centered message, fine. However, I could not tell my children there is a Santa. I explained about Nicholas and his generosity. My daughter, whose father was big into Santa, tried to get me to believe. My husband wanted to do Santa but we didn't and my son says he never missed it. Actually, when he was around eleven, a friend of his was very angry that his mother had lied to him by teaching him Santa is real!

After discussing Christmas with my friends, I find that we agree that we would all have a wonderful time with the season if gifts were not involved. I can not afford to buy anything right now. Himself is willing to go into debt to make sure our children have something under the tree and we will get something for Isabella. Why do we have to have this pressure?

Now that I have spouted my Christmas phooey, may I now wish for you that the wonder, beauty and sacrifice of Christmas will be the center of your celebration.

Blessings from my home to yours, g

ABC Thankfulness

Apples! They have been a blessing in my weight loss journey as I cut them up or microwave bake them with cinnamon and plain Greek yogurt.

Brothers. I love them and they love me.

Chocolate, dark chocolate

Dining. Isn't food delightful?

Experience that I can pass on when it is good and learn from when it is not.

Fun - something I didn't allow myself enough of when I was younger and what I cherish now!

(the)Girl, my lovely daughter who needs to find some filters to her comments (the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree) but who loves me.

Handicapped Parking for my dear mother-in-love who has such a hard time getting around.

Isabella! No surprise there. She holds my heart.

Jesus - the only reason I am alive today.

Kilometers because they are shorter than miles...

Laura, my bff

Mama B., my mother-in-love.

N - the town I live in. It has been good for my family to live here. It has a small town feel even though it is densely populated.

Opportunities to serve - I wish I could do more.

Precription medications that help people to be healthy physically and mentally.

Quilts made with love to keep us warm.

Reunions that heal broken hearts.

Sisters - the one God gave me through birth, the one I got through marriage and the ones I got through friendship.

The Boy, my son who is always surprising me - sometimes in a good way and sometimes not but I love him.

Unbearable joy - the kind that makes me feel like I am going to jump out of my skin! It doesn't happen often but, when it does...

Velcro - this invention has made many a parents' life so much easier!

Worship - something I don't spend nearly enough time in.

X - when doubled, girls, along with a "y," boys!

You! It's so nice to have you stop by.

Zebras - one of my favorite prints since I was a small child.

What are you thankful for today?

Update!

Isabella's birthday was lovely. We spent it with her great grandmother and one of my kids' cousins, ate pizza and ice cream cake and opened lots of presents.

Once again, thank you for letting me vent (not that you had a choice!).

Watch Out

If you don’t want to hear gripes, I suggest you visit somewhere else. You have been warned.

Tomorrow is Isabella’s birthday. Six years old!!! My baby is growing up so fast. Did we have a party for her yesterday (Saturday) or today? Never mind a party; did The Girl plan on coffee and cake over the weekend? No. For weeks, we have been asking my daughter what we are going to do for Bells’ bd. Nada, zip, nothing. She told us today that she wants us to all go Dutch treat to dinner tomorrow – a school night, when she doesn’t get home from work until six and Bells needs to go to sleep by eight the latest.

I could just spit I am so t’d off. I know it seems that I am overreacting. A little back story may be needed here: Himself and I have been watching Isabella on a regular basis practically since she was born. Most of the watching has been done by moi. If Bells is sick, I am the one who calls the bus driver and I take care of her. When Himself is off will get up with our girl and let me sleep in whilst he gets her on the bus.

This isn’t so bad, right? Multiply it by 180 school days a year and with me being the one who has to do 95% of the running around including visits to great-grandma and play dates on days off, library visits when the temps are high in the summer, birthday parties, dance when it is available…are you getting the picture.

All I asked was for was cake and coffee to be planned by my daughter!!! What does she do instead? Who cares!! I am right and she is wrong. Period. Right? No? Ugh. I just had to get that off my chest. I may be wrong but I am still t’d off. On top of that, Bells thinks she is having a big party at a “bouncy” place (The Girl just told me this this evening). I don’t want her to be disappointed but that ain’t going to happen.

I’m done with my griping. I’ll end with a cute pic of the little girl who makes it all worthwhile. And she is sooo worth it.

Where Did Twenty-Four Years Go?!

Twenty-four years ago today, Himself and I were married. Say what? I look in the mirror and wonder where that young woman disappeared to. When did my grandmother replace her?

Since that fateful eve, I have given birth to a son, welcomed a granddaughter, buried two grandmothers (one of whom was my best friend)and a father-in-law. Buildings have come down and wars have been fought. We moved into a house and have nearly lost it to the economy and our own fiscal foolishness.

Good things and bad have come our way and gone from our hands; many tears have fallen and many laughs have been guffawed. We have survived an autism diagnosis and watched our grandbaby triumph and fail.

There were times I thought we wouldn't make it; kindness and cruelty have come from my lips with, it seems, not enough of the former. Still, we stick around.

About my grandmother looking back at me from the mirror: she was my best friend, a woman I wanted to emulate. If I am going to age to reflect anyone, I am glad it is she, whom I still miss every day.

Happy anniversary, Himself. Let's try a little harder.

Sunday, Sunday

Nearly every Sunday during (American) football season, my son's friends fill my living room and watch the games together. Truth be told, I like it. I would like to have my living room to myself but seeing them enjoy each other is worth the bother.

Unlike other wives, I am not a football widow. I like the game and understand it. The Boy started playing when he was seven years old but my interest was piqued before that; long before that. I, gail of the great Atlantic northeast, am a Seattle Seahawks fan! Yup, the entire country stands between me and my team.

There is really no reason why I got into that other than Sundays in autumn are all about football. And church. Period. Also, I want to get some entries going.

Trying to figure what to write has been so difficult. Do you really want to hear about my tantrum last night when I couldn't take what was going on any longer? Or about how I am disappointed that The Girl isn't taking Isabella to the free special needs dance classes? Or that I am sleeping a lot, probably because of fibromyalgia and the stress of having to be up very early with Bells to get her ready for the school bus? Or that I need some time to myself and haven't been getting it? That I need a visit with my bff in the worst way?

Why would you want to hear about any of that?! I don't even want to hear about it. I am not liking myself very much right now but that will pass.

Let me leave you with this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f11-ClTi3og Maybe you will forgive me when you can't get this out of your head!