Something I might not have shared with you in the past is that, in the past, I have suffered from crippling panic attacks. It has been a while since I feared them but, this past week, that has changed.
Out of the blue, this past Tuesday I had a full blown attack. It popped up, seemingly, out of nowhere. I was so thankful that Isabella wasn't with me as I have no idea how she might have reacted to her Booboo freaking out.
What does one of these attacks look like for me? The pressure in my chest makes me fear a heart attack. Sometimes some pain in my left arm almost convinces me. I tend to feel very hot. I believe I said out loud, "Oh, dear God, help me!" I left my seat in the living room and walked to the kitchen where I held on to the counter for dear life and remembered my training from the Claire Weekes book Hope and Help for Your Nerves .
Self talk:
You are having a panic attack
You have survived them before.
Accept that you are having this panic attack
Your heart is a very strong muscle and it will not explode.
Breathe and float through it.
Sounds too simple, right? Well, it took years for me to be able to work through this. Still, it is a horrible experience.
Why am I talking about this? Why do I talk about most things? To get the word out that we are not alone with our ills and heartaches. I could write about only rosey, wonderful things happening in my life and you could say, "Oh, what a lovely life she has!" Well, I do have a pretty good life but it is not all flowers and butterflys! It has ugliness in it. However, I always have hope.
Hope. How glorious is hope?! I know that this earthly shell is temporary and that I have a heavenly home being prepared for me. When I get there, I will not have panic attacks or fibromyalgia or weight issues. My Isabella will join me there and her autism will be left behind. My grammy, whose Parkinson's stole her expressive face, will greet me with her smile. Oh, what a wonderful hope!
Life has been tough lately. My mother-in-law is in poor health and I am the only one not working full-time so I need to be available to her for doctors' appointments. The Girl needs Himself and me to care for Isabella when she is not in school. Two things that have probably brought back the panic attacks.
Things will get better.
Blessings, g
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Monday, November 8, 2010
How Appropriate
http://www.presidentialprayerteam.com/devo
Today’s Devotional
November 8th, 2010
Sweet Sleep
When day is done and you lie down to sleep, do you rest serenely? Do the experiences of the day pass through your mind, or tomorrow’s unknowns cause you distress?
Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.
Psalm 63:3
What can change that? The Old Testament speaks of peace as prosperity, health and fulfillment, but it also talks of wholeness and harmony based on relationship. The absence of strife (peace) is found only through the presence of God. David says that "the Lord has set apart the godly" and hears when you call to Him. He tells you to "ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent." (Psalm 4:3-4) David took refuge in that. You, too, can be fully aware of God’s presence and His willingness and ability to answer your prayers.
Your difficult circumstances, dangers you encounter, or illnesses may not go away. But you can have the confidence of David. Unrest and instability in the nation affect its leaders. Military forces around the world face threats every day. Pray for them. Put your trust in the Lord. Let your inner turmoil be quieted. Then close your eyes and enjoy the sweet sleep only God can give.
Recommended Reading: Proverbs 3:19-26
J.K. – Your Prayer Team writing staff
I must remember that the battle is not mine but the Lord's. My son is not my son but God's. Lord, give me, please, the strength and integrity to open my hands and let go of the firm hold I think I have on my children. g
Today’s Devotional
November 8th, 2010
Sweet Sleep
When day is done and you lie down to sleep, do you rest serenely? Do the experiences of the day pass through your mind, or tomorrow’s unknowns cause you distress?
Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.
Psalm 63:3
What can change that? The Old Testament speaks of peace as prosperity, health and fulfillment, but it also talks of wholeness and harmony based on relationship. The absence of strife (peace) is found only through the presence of God. David says that "the Lord has set apart the godly" and hears when you call to Him. He tells you to "ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent." (Psalm 4:3-4) David took refuge in that. You, too, can be fully aware of God’s presence and His willingness and ability to answer your prayers.
Your difficult circumstances, dangers you encounter, or illnesses may not go away. But you can have the confidence of David. Unrest and instability in the nation affect its leaders. Military forces around the world face threats every day. Pray for them. Put your trust in the Lord. Let your inner turmoil be quieted. Then close your eyes and enjoy the sweet sleep only God can give.
Recommended Reading: Proverbs 3:19-26
J.K. – Your Prayer Team writing staff
I must remember that the battle is not mine but the Lord's. My son is not my son but God's. Lord, give me, please, the strength and integrity to open my hands and let go of the firm hold I think I have on my children. g
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Miracles and Such
There are skeptics among us but I believe in miracles.
This afternoon I sent out a prayer request to heal my migraine and it is gone. I put my hands on my niece's swollen, nine months pregnant baby belly and felt my new great nephew moving within her. At one of my Tuesday night meetings (group of women from my church), a members hands got hot and she touched several of us and we were all healed by the next day of what was ailing us (I was healed within an hour or so).
The greatest miracle of all that I have experienced was that God took a piece of Himself, came to earth and became human so that I might never be able to say, "Lord, you just don't understand." Not only that, He became sin whilst on the cross so that we could have a relationship with God and spend eternity with Him.
Can it get any better than that?
I no longer try to picture what heaven is like. There is no way my limited mind could ever do it justice. I tell my children what my mother told me: when you get there, whatever makes you happiest is what heaven will be like. As a child, I used to imagine unlimited boxes of Whitman samplers (chocolates). Himself hopes for reenactments of the miracles in the Bible like the parting of the Red Sea. Now, I am waiting in anticipation for when I join my Lord and savior. I know with everything in me that no joy on earth can compare.
In a few days, we will be celebrating the birth of that bit of God sent to earth. Technically speaking, shepherds don't watch over flocks in December so the actual date is up in the air. Does it really matter when Jesus Christ was born? I don't think so. All that matters was that He WAS born and why. Born to die that I may live.
My greatest desire is that all I know would come to know Jesus for their own. Sometimes I ache with this desire.
May the honoring of God by remembering Who He gave us be of the utmost importance in your life this week and always.
blessing, joy and peace, g
This afternoon I sent out a prayer request to heal my migraine and it is gone. I put my hands on my niece's swollen, nine months pregnant baby belly and felt my new great nephew moving within her. At one of my Tuesday night meetings (group of women from my church), a members hands got hot and she touched several of us and we were all healed by the next day of what was ailing us (I was healed within an hour or so).
The greatest miracle of all that I have experienced was that God took a piece of Himself, came to earth and became human so that I might never be able to say, "Lord, you just don't understand." Not only that, He became sin whilst on the cross so that we could have a relationship with God and spend eternity with Him.
Can it get any better than that?
I no longer try to picture what heaven is like. There is no way my limited mind could ever do it justice. I tell my children what my mother told me: when you get there, whatever makes you happiest is what heaven will be like. As a child, I used to imagine unlimited boxes of Whitman samplers (chocolates). Himself hopes for reenactments of the miracles in the Bible like the parting of the Red Sea. Now, I am waiting in anticipation for when I join my Lord and savior. I know with everything in me that no joy on earth can compare.
In a few days, we will be celebrating the birth of that bit of God sent to earth. Technically speaking, shepherds don't watch over flocks in December so the actual date is up in the air. Does it really matter when Jesus Christ was born? I don't think so. All that matters was that He WAS born and why. Born to die that I may live.
My greatest desire is that all I know would come to know Jesus for their own. Sometimes I ache with this desire.
May the honoring of God by remembering Who He gave us be of the utmost importance in your life this week and always.
blessing, joy and peace, g
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Obedience No Matter What
I'm weary of finding f words to title the falderal so I am taking a breather from thinking too hard!
It is so hard, sometimes, to obey God's word. It says to honor our authorities because He put them there. Reading some other blogs, I see a lot of anger towards our current administration over the horrible events at Fort Hood this past week. Some say we are less safe than we were before 9/11.
To say that the average American knows what is really going on in our country is to live in a dream world. We don't know and, truth be told, don't want or need to know all that happens to keep us safe. We do, though, need to know that our brave men and women who serve our country can have a reasonable expectation of safety on a military post!
If a military person speaks out against the military do they still belong there? Is there any room for insurrection within the ranks? Amongst civilians, yes. Amongst the military? No. There needs to be obedience unless an order goes against the good.
As much as I want to rail against the administration and all I disagree with, it is my duty to pray for them, for the military and for my country. I must trust that God has a plan for my life and part of it is to live here in the United States.
I am not convinced that my beloved country will ever be God fearing again. As a matter of fact, I see it going progressively downhill. I hope and pray that I am wrong. Whatever happens, though, will not be a surpise to God.
Let us stand firm no matter what is tossed our way.
Given the opportunity, would you rather live in a country other than the one you live in now? No. I have thought about it but can't think of one my family and I would be better off in.
Are you frustrated with your government? Very much so. No matter how often I contact my representative and senators I get the same thanks but no thanks response.
Do you think you would consider running for office? I don't see it in my future but I don't pretend to know the future.
Do you have a favorite song right now? I am very fond of Revelation Song by Phillips, Craig and Dean. It is so touching and true.
How is your life lately? Really good. I am so blessed and I choose to count my blessing rather than wallow in pity over what could be.
Himself and I celebrated 22 years of marriage this past week. We enjoyed a meal of sushi at one of our favorite restaurants and are glad for what God has blessed us with.
Our Isabella is coming into overt consciousness of this world a bit more lately. She is responding to our questions with appropriate and correct answers. It is soooo exciting!
Bless you this week and always, g
It is so hard, sometimes, to obey God's word. It says to honor our authorities because He put them there. Reading some other blogs, I see a lot of anger towards our current administration over the horrible events at Fort Hood this past week. Some say we are less safe than we were before 9/11.
To say that the average American knows what is really going on in our country is to live in a dream world. We don't know and, truth be told, don't want or need to know all that happens to keep us safe. We do, though, need to know that our brave men and women who serve our country can have a reasonable expectation of safety on a military post!
If a military person speaks out against the military do they still belong there? Is there any room for insurrection within the ranks? Amongst civilians, yes. Amongst the military? No. There needs to be obedience unless an order goes against the good.
As much as I want to rail against the administration and all I disagree with, it is my duty to pray for them, for the military and for my country. I must trust that God has a plan for my life and part of it is to live here in the United States.
I am not convinced that my beloved country will ever be God fearing again. As a matter of fact, I see it going progressively downhill. I hope and pray that I am wrong. Whatever happens, though, will not be a surpise to God.
Let us stand firm no matter what is tossed our way.
Given the opportunity, would you rather live in a country other than the one you live in now? No. I have thought about it but can't think of one my family and I would be better off in.
Are you frustrated with your government? Very much so. No matter how often I contact my representative and senators I get the same thanks but no thanks response.
Do you think you would consider running for office? I don't see it in my future but I don't pretend to know the future.
Do you have a favorite song right now? I am very fond of Revelation Song by Phillips, Craig and Dean. It is so touching and true.
How is your life lately? Really good. I am so blessed and I choose to count my blessing rather than wallow in pity over what could be.
Himself and I celebrated 22 years of marriage this past week. We enjoyed a meal of sushi at one of our favorite restaurants and are glad for what God has blessed us with.
Our Isabella is coming into overt consciousness of this world a bit more lately. She is responding to our questions with appropriate and correct answers. It is soooo exciting!
Bless you this week and always, g
Friday, September 18, 2009
Feeling Free Falderal
September 18
For the last two and a half years (three and a half if you count a false start), I have been working through the book Walls of My Heart by Dr. Bruce Thompson and Barbara Thompson. It is described as "Powerful Keys to Breaking Out and Being Free."
Since I was fifteen years old, I have been in and out of therapy. All those counselors, all those years prepared my for this journey through which I was led by, for the most part, my friend Am. I learned that I had built walls of sadness, insecurity, bitterness, anger and many more negatives around my heart. My experience taught me why I put them there, how to tear them down and how to build new walls which are healthy for me and pleasing to God.
There is so much I want to write but I am hoping that maybe some of you will take this journey. If you have no one here to guide you through it, I hope you will ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. I will be happy to answer questions via e-mails.
The weekend is upon us and it couldn't have come too soon! I'm beat. Isabella is my companion from seven am til school starts at nine and then I pick her up at two thirty. She is with us until six pm. I love her more than anything in this world - still, weekends are good!
Do you have anyone you can talk to about what's on your mind? I am blessed in that area. I have wise friends and a great mom.
Breakfast sausage or bacon? Neither! What are you trying to do, kill me? My cholesterol is high enough. Who thinks up these questions anyway. Besides, I hate the spicing in breakfast sausage.
Do you think about whether or not what you watch or read effects you spiritually? More than ever before. I have learned that a person's brain retains memories so well that, when having brain surgery in the memory portion of the brain, memories and the feelings that went along with them are relived when probed! I must be careful what I put in here.
You can be instantly transported anywhere in the world right now for three hours. Where would you go? As of this moment, I would go to be with my friend V in South Africa to take care of her because she is sick.
Once again, are you ready for some football??? Last Sunday, because we have the NFL channel, we also have a channel called Red Zone. It is five hours of non-commercial football switching from game to game when teams get close to the twenty yard line or further if the other teams are on commercial break. My son and his buddies had a hard time tearing themselves away for potty breaks! Himself and I went to a fair in town for an hour but I enjoyed the games with the guys while reading a book.
Let me know what you are up to, people. Sending blessings your way, g
For the last two and a half years (three and a half if you count a false start), I have been working through the book Walls of My Heart by Dr. Bruce Thompson and Barbara Thompson. It is described as "Powerful Keys to Breaking Out and Being Free."
Since I was fifteen years old, I have been in and out of therapy. All those counselors, all those years prepared my for this journey through which I was led by, for the most part, my friend Am. I learned that I had built walls of sadness, insecurity, bitterness, anger and many more negatives around my heart. My experience taught me why I put them there, how to tear them down and how to build new walls which are healthy for me and pleasing to God.
There is so much I want to write but I am hoping that maybe some of you will take this journey. If you have no one here to guide you through it, I hope you will ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. I will be happy to answer questions via e-mails.
The weekend is upon us and it couldn't have come too soon! I'm beat. Isabella is my companion from seven am til school starts at nine and then I pick her up at two thirty. She is with us until six pm. I love her more than anything in this world - still, weekends are good!
Do you have anyone you can talk to about what's on your mind? I am blessed in that area. I have wise friends and a great mom.
Breakfast sausage or bacon? Neither! What are you trying to do, kill me? My cholesterol is high enough. Who thinks up these questions anyway. Besides, I hate the spicing in breakfast sausage.
Do you think about whether or not what you watch or read effects you spiritually? More than ever before. I have learned that a person's brain retains memories so well that, when having brain surgery in the memory portion of the brain, memories and the feelings that went along with them are relived when probed! I must be careful what I put in here.
You can be instantly transported anywhere in the world right now for three hours. Where would you go? As of this moment, I would go to be with my friend V in South Africa to take care of her because she is sick.
Once again, are you ready for some football??? Last Sunday, because we have the NFL channel, we also have a channel called Red Zone. It is five hours of non-commercial football switching from game to game when teams get close to the twenty yard line or further if the other teams are on commercial break. My son and his buddies had a hard time tearing themselves away for potty breaks! Himself and I went to a fair in town for an hour but I enjoyed the games with the guys while reading a book.
Let me know what you are up to, people. Sending blessings your way, g
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)