Thursday, May 13, 2010

New Routine?

Being someone who doesn't like change all that much, the fact that I have been thinking that I need a change in routine is a bit odd. It's not that my life isn't fulfilling because it is. It would be nice, though, to have some choices.

One choice I would make would be to be fibromyalgia free for a while. Usually, I don't even notice the pain I live with daily. It is just part of my life and I accept it. However, when I have a night like last night, where the pain woke me so often, well, it would be nice to sleep uninterrupted. Also, I would like to be able to make plans without having alternatives planned just in case the fms flares up.

Another choice would be to have the concentration to go back to school or hold down a job. FMS works havoc on one's concentration. Just the thought of going back to work causes anxiety deep within me.

I know that every school day I need to be available to pick up Isabella at 2:30. Do I have a choice in this? I could refuse but who would do it? Today, it would have been lovely to take a nap to make up for last night's lost sleep. Yet, here I sit, with The Little Mermaid on for the fifth time in three days.

A friend recently wondered out loud what her life would have been like had she taken the path she originally planned. We won't ever find out, will we? This is not the life I planned either. However, we are where we are and can either dwell on the past in times of doubt or press on and make the best of where our choices have led us.

Sometimes overwhelmed but always blessed. I suppose that sums up my life right now. That's not too bad, right?

1 comment:

  1. I have some of the same concerns...who would be there for them? I know I'm the best choice and believe that this has what God has called me to do. However, this too shall pass. The future sort of scares me.