Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Today, my boy hugged me. “…overwhelmed, “ he said, “So overwhelmed.” Actually, my boy needed his mom to hug him. And I did promising that there were more where they had come from.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about how my son is a stranger to me; about his hidden life. He is 23 years old and there is so much I do not know about him. When did that happen? When did he become a stranger?

So, too, is my daughter. I probably know a little more about her but that is because she is 32 and a mother. We relate because we are both mothers. However, we are so different.

We think of having “babies.” We do not think about having defiant teenagers. We do not think of having 23 and 32 year old children. Are they any less our children as they grow older? At 56, I am still my mother’s child. The Girl and The Boy will always be my children.

There are probably a lot of things I don’t want to know about my children. I feel anxiety just contemplating their secrets. There are many things I hope my mom doesn’t know about the younger me. I wish it wasn’t so but it is.

Where am I going with this? I don’t know. Just feeling the need to try to work out what I am feeling. My children still need me. I need their help. Maybe there will be a symbiosis some day. ~heavy sigh~ Some day.


  1. When I was growing up, my mom used to tell me that no matter how old I got, I would still be the baby and that parents will always worry about their kids no matter how old the kids got to be.
    I never imagined having a teenager. But, I never imagined ever being 40 and beyond.

  2. Hi Gail,

    Good Post, glad you were able to exchange that hug. It isn't easy being a mother is it? or come to that a grandmother, we can only do our best with the Lord's help. Symbiosis, is a new word on me, but I am sure if you want it, it will happen. Going to get my directory when I return home and look that one up. :)

    Hugs Nita.

  3. With my children still so young I feel I have a lot of say in their life, but then again half the day they are at school with out me. It's hard letting go but so rewarding to see them make good choices. I am struggling as of late with how some of Emry's friends (at church no less) are treating her. Just playing the usual girl drama games. I've been there done that and I pray she makes it out okay.

    I am sure as my kids get older and more independent they will make choices I don't always agree with, but they are here for the same reason I am, to learn and grow and sometimes to just figure it out on their own. Have a wonderful week.

  4. I just shared with a mom with little children that she should really enjoy the "troubles" of her young ones. Having a married 22 year old and a 19 year old, I get your sentiments. They lead their own lives, but I'll never stop being concerned or praying for them. We relate differently now that they are older and launching their adult lives. I enjoy watching them grow, but like you, there are some things I just don't want to know. :)

  5. Here's a hug for you :)

    I'm 23 and me and my mother have a good relationship and I tell her lots, but sometimes it's hard. It feels a bit harder to communicate than when I was younger, but I don't know why. So in your son's case, maybe it's just a weird 20's thing. If he's anything like me, he'll be wishing he knew how to communicate things better.

    Have a beautiful sunday!

  6. My oldest just turned 5, so I'm not going through that yet. When I hug him and tell him, "don't grow up so fast," he turns to me and says, "Don't worry Mom, even when I'm big, I will still be your baby." I guess I've told him that a lot; glad it's sticking.